1. "It was evil, it was corrupt, it was dirty cops, it was leakers and liars, and this should never, ever happen to another president, ever."
[Sweet Valley Junior High debrief after Kristy McKool's hard-fought battle for 7th grade Homeroom Rep.]
[Sweet Valley Junior High debrief after Kristy McKool's hard-fought battle for 7th grade Homeroom Rep.]
"Had I not fired James Comey, who was a disaster, by the way, it’s possible I wouldn’t even be standing here right now."
[WTAF!!!?]
[WTAF!!!?]
"If this happened to President Obama, a lot of people would have been in jail for a long time already. Many, many years."
[FIRST Obama reference of the speech]
[FIRST Obama reference of the speech]
"I want to start by thanking — I call them friends"
[Trump points lovingly to the two potted plant he visits at night when the White House is empty. He calls him....Dave and Al. Trump has no animal kingdom friends.]
[Trump points lovingly to the two potted plant he visits at night when the White House is empty. He calls him....Dave and Al. Trump has no animal kingdom friends.]
"— let me tell you, if we didn’t win, the stock market would have crashed."
[Errrrrrrrmmmm]
[Errrrrrrrmmmm]
"And we were treated unbelievably unfairly, and you have to understand we first went through Russia, Russia, Russia." 
Mueller Report Damage Assessment: "People came to Washington to help other people. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I’d say. They came, one or two or three people in particular, but many people."
"Little did we know we were running against some very, very bad and evil people with fake dossiers, with all of these horrible, dirty cops that took these dossiers and did bad things."
[Baaaaaaad things.]
[Baaaaaaad things.]
"The FISA courts should be ashamed of themselves."
[I am distracted by the conundrum of whether there is:
* A FISA court?
* Multiple FISA courts.]
[I am distracted by the conundrum of whether there is:
* A FISA court?
* Multiple FISA courts.]
"And then we ended up winning on Russia, Russia, Russia."
Mark [Meadows]? They kept it going forever because they wanted to inflict political pain on somebody that had just won an election....
We had polls that said we were going to win, we had the Los Angeles Times and a few papers, actually,
[Bizarre Temporal Jump]
We had polls that said we were going to win, we had the Los Angeles Times and a few papers, actually,
[Bizarre Temporal Jump]
Moe Editorial: Donald Trump is very preoccupied in general with the term "wanting to inflict [political] etc. pain. Very projective.
I gotta go and finish this later, but this speech is getting more and more insane.
I will leave you with Trump's thumbnail of Rep Adam Schiff. Barkers:
...corrupt politician...Adam Schiff made up my statement to the Ukrainian president....brought it out of thin air...They say, he’s a screenwriter, a failed screenwriter. Unfortunately he went into politics..."
...corrupt politician...Adam Schiff made up my statement to the Ukrainian president....brought it out of thin air...They say, he’s a screenwriter, a failed screenwriter. Unfortunately he went into politics..."
Trump on Adam Schiff:
"They say he's a screenwriter. [Sniff sniff] A...[snif] FAILED SCREEENWRITER!! [SNIFFFF].
"They say he's a screenwriter. [Sniff sniff] A...[snif] FAILED SCREEENWRITER!! [SNIFFFF].
BAAAAAAAAAAD Christopher Steele.
Baaaaaaad Other Christopher (his Partner)
Baaaaaaad Other Christopher (his Partner)
Bright-eyed and busy tailed...
8:59 p.m. EST. I am back with best transcription of #pettysburgaddress I could find. CONTINUATION:
"It’s the only good headline I’ve had in the Washington Post. Every paper is the same, does anybody have them, because they’re all like that and I appreciate that."
[MM: NOT exactly. The New York Times was significantly less sycophantic] 1/3 of this section.
[MM: NOT exactly. The New York Times was significantly less sycophantic] 1/3 of this section.
IWashington Post's pat on the head from Trump for their giant, all caps, "ACQUITTED" headline is sad and dismal day for American journalism. Cripes, this is the paper of Woodward & Bernstein. No framing, no mention of the deep split, or coverup. Argh.
@carlbernstein
@carlbernstein
@carlbernstein "And we were treated unbelievably unfairly, and you have to understand we first went through Russia, Russia, Russia. It was all bullshit."
[mm: Have nothing more to add. This has already been commented on a lot]
[mm: Have nothing more to add. This has already been commented on a lot]
@carlbernstein "And by the way, Hillary Clinton and the DNC paid for millions of dollars for a fake dossier, and now Christopher Steele admits that it’s a fake because he got sued by rich people. I should have sued him, too, but when you’re president, people don’t like suing"
[Stunned silence]
[Stunned silence]
@carlbernstein Not sure how much people know about Chrisopher Steele. He is a man of impeccable reputation, and was basically James Bond but better looking.
@carlbernstein Litvinenko was, as a RUSSIAN anti-corruption investigator (anyone watch "The Americans".. last season?) one of the first people to link Putin to organized crime, which in Russia at the time, was not really cool.
@carlbernstein OKAY, back to #pettysburgaddress
@carlbernstein "Pat [Cipollone], Jay [Sekilow], Pat. You guys stand up.
Great job. Right at the beginning, they said, sir, you have nothing to worry about. All of the facts are on your side."
[mm: I somehow doubt this convo happened]
Great job. Right at the beginning, they said, sir, you have nothing to worry about. All of the facts are on your side."
[mm: I somehow doubt this convo happened]
@carlbernstein "Then they said, well, maybe the transcription is not correct. said, what was wrong with it? They said, they didn’t add this word. I said, add it. They’re probably wrong, but add it. So not everybody believes they’re completely accurate."
[Just READING this gave me a headache]
[Just READING this gave me a headache]
@carlbernstein "Somebody said, you know, Mitch is quiet. I said, he’s not quiet. He’s not quiet. He doesn’t want people to know him."
[I have nothing to add here, so thought I would just drop in this horrific picture of TrumpGoblin Hogan Gidley to give people fuel for tonight's nightmares.]
[I have nothing to add here, so thought I would just drop in this horrific picture of TrumpGoblin Hogan Gidley to give people fuel for tonight's nightmares.]
@carlbernstein "We did a prayer breakfast this morning, and I thought that was really good. In fact, that was so good it might wipe this out. But by the time we finish this, we’ll wipe that one out, those statements. "
[mm: He may be right but both are horrifying in their own unique way]
[mm: He may be right but both are horrifying in their own unique way]
@carlbernstein "And Claire McCaskill. The theory was you couldn’t beat her. Great campaigner, remember the last campaign she was going to be taken out, and she wins and people say, how did that happen? It didn’t happen with him. But she got so friendly toward me."
[mam: Bleagggghhhh!!]
[mam: Bleagggghhhh!!]
@carlbernstein "Then you have some who used religion as a crutch. They never used it before....It’s a failed presidential candidate, so things can happen when you fail so badly running for president."
[Insane freeform snipes at an un-named Mitt Romney]
[Insane freeform snipes at an un-named Mitt Romney]
@carlbernstein "A man [Mike Lee] who is brilliant and who actually was deceived to an extent, comes from..great state, Utah, where my poll numbers have gone through the roof..."
[The entire state of Utah and millions of people all boil down in Trump's fevered turnip of a brain to HIS poll #'s]
[The entire state of Utah and millions of people all boil down in Trump's fevered turnip of a brain to HIS poll #'s]
@carlbernstein Say hello to the people of Utah and tell them I’m sorry about Mitt Romney. I’m sorry. Okay? [Cheers and applause]
[mam: Lord Help Us, what a pack of NINNIES.]
[mam: Lord Help Us, what a pack of NINNIES.]
@carlbernstein "Nancy Pelosi is a horrible person....when she said, I pray for the president. She doesn’t pray. She may pray but she prays for the opposite. But I doubt she prays at all. These are vicious people."
[Is he calling Nancy Pelosi a devil worshipper here?]
[Is he calling Nancy Pelosi a devil worshipper here?]
@carlbernstein Interestingly enough, Trumpist campaign Svengali Steve Bannon has, LITERALLY supported such Dark Side figures as Darth Vader and, yes, Satan. Even worse, Dick Cheney.
@carlbernstein "Think of it. A phone call. A very good phone call. I know bad phone calls. This is a phone call where many people — I think Mike Pompeo was probably on the call, many people were on the call."
[He doesn't KNOW if Pompeo was "on the call"??]
[He doesn't KNOW if Pompeo was "on the call"??]
@carlbernstein [Hunter Biden] But they don’t think it’s corrupt when a son that made no military, that had no money at all, is working for $300 million up and it goes to Romania and other countries. Is ivanka in the audience? My kids could make a fortune...."
[What the Sam Hill?????]
[What the Sam Hill?????]
@carlbernstein "Tell me what’s going on. I told that to all my people, OMB.... I asked that question, how come Germany isn’t paying? Why isn’t Germany paying? Why is the United States always the sucker. Because we’re a bunch of suckers."
[mm: No more Hunter, careens to NATO]
[mm: No more Hunter, careens to NATO]
@carlbernstein "But now we have that gorgeous word. I never thought that word would ever sound so good. It’s called total acquittal."
[I am really PO'd at the Washington Post for that dang headline. ]
[I am really PO'd at the Washington Post for that dang headline. ]
@carlbernstein ."I have to start with Kevin. Man, did you do a job. Lucky you’re there...Because it wouldn’t have worked out. If you don’t have the right people, I tell you, Kevin McCarthy has done an incredible job. [Applause]"
[mm: The crowd is applauding fact Trump didn't call him "Steve"]
[mm: The crowd is applauding fact Trump didn't call him "Steve"]
@carlbernstein Random Aside: I think I saw that blonde, strangely plasticized woman who has moved into the White House as some sort of Spiritual Advisor
Now, if she had handled some snakes, THAT would have been a Prayer Breakfast this didn't overshadow!
OK, back to the #pettysburgaddress
Now, if she had handled some snakes, THAT would have been a Prayer Breakfast this didn't overshadow!
OK, back to the #pettysburgaddress
@carlbernstein I mean, [Jerry] Nadler....I always beat him, and I had to beat him another time, and I’ll probably have to beat him again...if they find that I happened to walk across the street and maybe go against the light or something, let’s impeach him."
[mm: Paranoia, The Destroyaaaah]
[mm: Paranoia, The Destroyaaaah]
@carlbernstein "You know, Mike Pence just got back from a place, a beautiful place, that Chuck Grassley knows well. Iowa. We have two people running, you know. I guess they consider them non-people."
[Trump appears familiar with the practice of declaring people Non-People. How Stalinesque.]
[Trump appears familiar with the practice of declaring people Non-People. How Stalinesque.]
@carlbernstein — they say spirit for the Republican party right now stronger than it’s ever...That includes honest Abe Lincoln. A lot of people forget Abe Lincoln....I would give him one hell of an introduction. He was a Republican. Abe Lincoln. Honest Abe.
[OH, SHUT UP, YOUR ORANGE FOOL!]
[OH, SHUT UP, YOUR ORANGE FOOL!]
@carlbernstein "Jim Jordan, I said, huh? He never wears a jacket. What the hell is going on?He’s obviously very proud of his body.Look at that guy. One day I’m looking and I’m looking at those ears, and I say, those ears have something going on there."
[Trump disapproves]
[Trump disapproves]
@carlbernstein "YOU"
@carlbernstein And Mike Johnson of Louisiana. You can represent me at any time. What a job you’ve done....And another man we’ve not heard of on the other side. This guy is a nightmare. He goes down into dungeons and basements.
[mam: cue women in car trunks with their mouths taped]
[mam: cue women in car trunks with their mouths taped]
@carlbernstein Devin Nunes. Unbelievable. [Cheers and applause]
this congressman who kept going into a basement...You never thought it was as bad as it is, and hopefully we’re going to take care of things, because we can never, ever allow this to happen again.
[WHAT THE EVERLOVING CRIPE???]
this congressman who kept going into a basement...You never thought it was as bad as it is, and hopefully we’re going to take care of things, because we can never, ever allow this to happen again.
[WHAT THE EVERLOVING CRIPE???]
@carlbernstein "I’m going to do a remake of “Perry Mason.” I picked Barr first, John Ratcliffe. If we’re doing a remake of “Perry Mason,” a man I get, there is no other man in Hollywood like this. John Ratcliffe. Right? Stand up, John."
[aRRRGGHH]
[aRRRGGHH]
@carlbernstein Peak Weirdness: The Scalise Diversion
"A man who is braver than me and braver than all of us in this room, he got whacked. He got whacked. My Steve, right? I went to the hospital with our great first lady that night and we saw a man that was not going to make it."
"A man who is braver than me and braver than all of us in this room, he got whacked. He got whacked. My Steve, right? I went to the hospital with our great first lady that night and we saw a man that was not going to make it."
@carlbernstein MY FAVORITE PART OF WHOLE EVENT:
He [Scalise] was not going to make it. I said, she loves you. Why? Because she was devastated. A lot of wives wouldn’t give a damn....She couldn’t even talk, she was inconsolable. Most wives would say, not good, I’m going home now."
He [Scalise] was not going to make it. I said, she loves you. Why? Because she was devastated. A lot of wives wouldn’t give a damn....She couldn’t even talk, she was inconsolable. Most wives would say, not good, I’m going home now."
@carlbernstein Random Staff Bullying:
"And Lou [Gohmert], your name isn’t down. They didn’t give me your name. I didn’t announce louie. Whoever the hell made this list, I got to get rid of them...."
"And Lou [Gohmert], your name isn’t down. They didn’t give me your name. I didn’t announce louie. Whoever the hell made this list, I got to get rid of them...."
@carlbernstein OK, I am not going to bother wading in muck, more retreads of old nastiness (Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, Schumer, Comey, ad nauseum). Blagh... blagh... blagh.
I think he is wrapping up, thank heaven.
I think he is wrapping up, thank heaven.
@carlbernstein Some free-range fluffery:
"MARK MEADOWS: I just wanted to say that this reflection today is a small reflection of the kind of support you have all across the country. We’ve got your back. [Applause]"
"MARK MEADOWS: I just wanted to say that this reflection today is a small reflection of the kind of support you have all across the country. We’ve got your back. [Applause]"
@carlbernstein I want to apologize to my family...and Ivanka is here and my sons and my whole family. And that includes Barron who is up there as a young boy. Stand up, honey. Ivanka, thank you, honey.
["And that includes Barron...." ????????]
["And that includes Barron...." ????????]
@carlbernstein It's over. [END]
@carlbernstein Is there NO END to the disrespect. The transgression. The pissing all over our beloved history and heroes? Argh.
