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Whatever you think is the worst film Nicholas Cage has made, you only think it because you’ve never seen “Left Behind”. It‘s violating my eyes, ears and brain, but I cannot stop watching it. Or listening to the soft porn, solo sax soundtrack. It’s like Airplane, but not a spoof.
It has a 1% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. ONE. PER. CENT.
End credits song, with subtitles for your delectation.

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Alex Andreou
@sturdyAlex
Gov’t response to sectors like social care telling them they will struggle to fill vacancies: “You will have to rely on automation.”

Now, why didn’t I think of that?

*clears throat*

Alexa, give Mama her medicine, then take her to the loo, and set her down for her nap.

*waits*
Alexa?

ALEXA!
ALEXA, GIVE MAMA HER MEDICINE.

*Alexa plays Bon Jovi’s “Bad Medicine”*
Read 3 tweets
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Alex Andreou
@sturdyAlex
They’ve had three years of the UK gov’t agreeing things, then going back on them. All the while, briefing against the EU and engaging in this sort of public toddler tantrum, for its domestic audience.

Naturally, this has caused a total breakdown of trust.

That’s what’s changed.
It’s like asking your estranged spouse “what‘s changed” from the amicable divorce she offered initially, after spending years refusing to sign the divorce papers, showing up drunk at her home, repeatedly trying to kidnap the cat and chaining yourself to the gate at her workplace.
You’ve proven yourself, conclusively, a douchebag. That’s what.
Read 3 tweets
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Alex Andreou
@sturdyAlex
All day people @BethRigby, @bbclaurak, @GaryGibbonBlog etc reported Javid quitting as a major upset; a #reshuffle gone horribly wrong. For hours, senior No.10 figures tried to make Javid reconsider. By #Newsnight @nicholaswatt decided it was a masterful plan brilliantly executed.
It is so tiresome watching the narrative mutate and bend to Downing Street’s will and eventually reported as irrefutable fact.
Watt’s reporting has been toxic for months now. We might as well have one of those North Korean newscasters reading what is handed to them with mad fervour. At least they don’t pretend to be journalists.
Read 3 tweets

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Rachel Wülfe
@AberdorkUnited
Watching the Bread Video. There's some questions I have that I want answers to and I suspect its what other people want to know as well.
I'll try and summarize every four-to-five minute beat, and I know many have commented already on the length. The tremendous video length certain youtubers do was certainly a common joke, I'd say I have no idea how Carl of Swinton did it except I sadly did watch his videos.
I go back to college in three days so I'll be watching this on screen while finishing up my semester one coursework that needs to be handed in on the 6th, 9AM sharp.
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johnkun bear family au ⋆
@kittyong
"mr qian, if you don't mind me saying—"

"kun."

johnny looks up from his gogo squeez. mr qian meets his eyes, a small smile playing around his lips. "my name is kun."

"kun." johnny's brain short circuits as it attempts to run through every possible combination of their names.
"uh, kun. if you don't mind me saying, i think you're doing a fine job of making friends. to me, anyways. and... for what it's worth, you're raising some really great kids."

kun sighs. "i hope so."

"are you kidding?!" johnny exclaims. "you're, like, super dad!"
those accursed, perfect eyebrows—johnny's newfound archnemeses—raise. "super dad?"

"yeah!" johnny splutters. "you brought a whole cooler of healthy snacks! you're so put together! your kids have lace-up shoes instead of velcro! you're all i've ever wanted! y'know, to, like, be!"
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Michael McKenzie
@SegaJunkie
To celebrate the impending 10th anniversary of @GamesDoneQuick , I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of 100 of the best runs showcased throughout its history. I'll be adding one run to this thread every day until the 1st of January, which marks ten years to the day.
Some caveats:
* No, these aren't literally the best 100 runs. How do you even measure that? But they're all runs I think leave their impact on the event's history.
* Obviously I haven't picked any of my own runs - but there are some I commentated on, and felt privileged to do so.
* I've got at least one run in here from all 20 live events to date - CGDQ, all 9 editions of AGDQ and SGDQ, and last year's GDQx. No JRDQ or HRDQ, sorry!

Also I won't be adding anything from the upcoming GDQx, which is this weekend, but you obviously should watch that anyway!
Read 691 tweets
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Pemfrost
@Pemfrost
Bkdk MMO au

Pro hero Bakugou didn't have time for much of a social life, or any real desire for one. His only friends moved to different cities after graduation, and while he did see them on occasion- and even he would begrudgingly admit he enjoyed those rare meet ups- it
didn't count as a social life.

Kaminari wasn't the first to insist he do something besides work, but he was the first to suggest something which didn't involve copious amounts of alcohol and/or random bars and clubs.

Which, is how Bakugou found himself playing an MMO.
If anyone would ask, he would deny such a thing, of course.

But, it was nice to have something he could pick up whenever he had time, and it didn't mater if he didn't log on for days or weeks at a time.

He even found a casual, yet intense, guild. They welcomed him quickly and
Read 436 tweets
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Joseph Stalin
@StalinIsBack
1/8 My favorite #quote by #JosephStalin, which explains the scientific, #DialecticalMaterialist explanation of true freedom in material reality, not just as an abstract ideal. #StalinIsBack #StalinLives #JVStalin #Stalin #StalinQuote #StalinQuotes #Truth #MELS #MarxismLeninism
2/8 Having an #objective, #rational, #ScientificSocialist, #Dialectical, & #Materialist viewpoint allows us to accurately see & evaluate & analyze #Truth & #Reality as they truly materially exist in this universe.
3/8 An idealistic, dogmatic viewpoint, which capitalists have, however, makes one irrational enough to 'see' freedom where freedom stays trapped on a piece of paper while people are oppressed in their actual lived lives.
Read 586 tweets

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