Thread by @fleetstreetfox

May I tell you a story? It may or may not be relevant. Let's see.

Decades ago as a cub reporter, aged just 18 on my local paper, I was sent to cover an inquest of a man from my patch. I will not go into details, but he'd committed suicide.

His family was known to mine, slightly. This was an occupational hazard, as my 'patch' was, literally, also my patch.

As part of the inquest, the coroner always needs to find out the state of mind of the deceased. He therefore called evidence not just from the people who found him, but also those who'd last seen/spoken to him. This included his wife.

For reasons that will become clear, I'm not going to specify what she said here.

However, the inquest heard evidence that the suicide was a surprise to all concerned. There were no financial worries, was no illness, no 'secret life', just, poof, out of the blue. (Perhaps they've found out something since; I don't know. There was no clue at inquest).

Anyway, the family were at the inquest. I was at the Press bench. The coroner staff had informed the relatives, as they always do, that reporters are present. I cannot remember if I approached them after for a comment; I think not, as it had all been said...

When the story appeared in the local paper a few days later, I got a phone call from the widow. She was distraught, sobbing, terribly upset. "How could you Susie, how could you."

As much as this might confuse those who think all reporters are scum, I was terribly upset in return. I desperately tried to calm her down, and find out what, specifically, had upset her. Had I fucked up? Got something dreadfully wrong?

She could barely speak for tears and fury. In the end, I promised her the editor would ring and do his utmost to sort it out. I assured her we had no wish to cause any upset. I spoke, a little, about the link between our families and how much I had liked him.

I rang the editor, told him what had happened, and almost broke down myself. I was horrified that I might have made a tragic thing so much worse. He said he'd ring her right away.

A bit later, he called back. There was nothing wrong with my story. The names were spelled right, the quotes were accurate, everything journalistically, ethically and legally AOK.

She was upset because she had opened the paper and was not expecting it. Being a weekly, a few days had passed since the inquest and she'd forgotten my presence.

I think of it often, because local newspapers give very good reasons for reporters to make sure they get things right. If you don't, it bites you on the arse hard. Sometimes, you get bitten EVEN IF you do it perfectly.

And the reason for that is because people only meet journalists when something dramatic happens. Someone is murdered, or raped, or wins the lottery, or takes their own life. Their emotions are all over the place, and it's our responsibility to, well, be kind.

But we have an EQUAL responsibility to the truth. Until comparatively recently, suicides were treated apallingly. Assisting a suicide is still a crime. Providing drugs that can cause death is also a crime. There are very, VERY good reasons that sudden deaths get journalised.

And it is normal for this to cause upset and pain. It is just as normal for that reporting to give comfort - to provide a record, an obituary, something solid that relatives can use to define what happened, and memorialise their loved one.

It is simply impossible for every journalist, on every death, to make everyone happy. And it is usual that with sudden deaths, suicides in particular, for blame to be laid on the first people who come knocking.

(Tangent: this is why police officers who inform relatives of a death do so very quickly, and clear off. They let liaison officers come in behind, and do the bonding. The people who break the news are forever associated with the death itself. Done that myself.)

Which is a long-winded way of saying: inquests are grim, but necessary. Samaritans guidelines are suggestions, not rules. 'Hanging' is actually pretty vague, and does not specify how someone did it. I couldn't tie the right knot if I tried, because no paper's ever reported how.

In C21 there are other ways of finding out, of course. So if you have an issue with the breaking of such guidelines, maybe direct your fire more accurately. If you don't like capital letters & push notifications, don't get the app, or campaign for everyone to be more ee cummings.

The journalists get why you're upset; really they do. There's quite a few on the showbiz desks who feel it more than you.

But as a rule of thumb, when there's a sudden death:

- if you know who did it, tell the coroner
- if you don't, shut up
- wait for coroner's verdict, cos s/he will - as well as the journos who attend the inquest - almost certainly hear far more detail than will ever be published

/ends