Thread by @Ghillie_Guide

I grew up desexualized for my Autistic behavior; feeling people infantilize when I was most authentic

I am trying to develop my sexuality and gender expression after repressing it for over a decade

I internalized that prejudice and it's very difficult to fight it

https://twitter.com/autisticats/status/1396473679245193217

I want to experience romance and sexuality with others in my life in a consensual manner before I go

I want to fail at relationships not because of Autism but because we aren't compatible; Autism makes it difficult to get anyone to interpret me that way most importantly myself

It was easier to accept the prejudice of others than to challenge it for me

People would laugh at the thought of my being a romantic partner; sometimes even joke about it when I tried to flirt

I think as a romantic partner I am building a pretty good offering; I have aspects I like about myself now

I fear my inexperience and gratefulness for even a sexualizing comment or look puts me in a place of vulnerability; it's not an unreasonable fear and comes from past abuse

I struggle with hopelessness on these personal goals

When I can challenge my own fears and trauma that pushes me towards repression I am reminded of the real prejudice that suggested I pick up celibacy in the first place

If only the people who think I am innocent had a clue😏😈