Tweet

Coercive Control & Recovering From Trauma

15 Jun, 13 tweets, 3 min read

Gaslighting is far more subtle that “You are mentally ill, you need to be locked up in an asylum.” although abusers will use that too.

A THREAD

#coercivecontrol
#gaslighting
#manipulation
#mindgames

Gaslighting is:

No , I didn’t say that, you must be mistaken. I would NEVER say that. Tell me when I have EVER said that.

Gaslighting is:

Yes you said that, I heard the words come out of your mouth. I can’t believe you can’t remember that you said that.

Gaslighting is:

I’m not lying, why would you say I was lying, unless YOU were the one lying and you are projecting that onto me?

Gaslighting is:

Of course I was lying, you didn’t honestly believe that I meant what I said, did you? How stupid are you?

Gaslighting is:

Of course it’s not true. It’s a line. I used that line to get you to sleep with me. Of course I never meant it. No one who says that means it. How could you not know that?

Gaslighting is:

If you’ve got a problem with me, it’s because I’m showing you aspects of yourself you don’t like.

Gaslighting is:

No, I’m not going to discuss that with you, that’s in the past and you need to stop dwelling on what’s happened and focus on THE NOW.

Gaslighting is:

Can’t you take a joke? Why do you always see an insult when one wasn’t intended? It’s a joke, a bit of banter. You need to learn to chill out and stop being such a victim.

Gaslighting is:

No, I didn’t leave the lights on. Why would I leave the lights on? It must have been you. You’re always doing things and then forgetting you’ve done them. You’re starting to lose it.

Gaslighting is:

Why are you asking me if I’m having an affair? Is it because YOU’RE having an affair? You are, aren’t you? And you think I am guilty of what you’re doing.

Gaslighting is:

A seed that is sown by a manipulator who WANTS you to doubt.

Gaslighting is:

Are you going to believe your lying eyes, or what I tell you?

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

More from @CCCBuryStEd

Coercive Control & Recovering From Trauma

@CCCBuryStEd

15 Jun

What to expect from CCChat* Magazine in the coming months.
A THREAD

* CCChat is a free online magazine on and around #coercivecontrol.

The NEXT issue focuses on the amazing survivors of #coercivecontrol #stalking #cults and #domesticviolence and what they are doing now.
It also includes an interview with a process server.

Later in the year CCChat will ask some difficult questions about why it’s taking so long to effectively deal with #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #coercivecontrol #stalking and why some victims are repeatedly being failed.

We need to talk about the elephant in the room.

Read 6 tweets

Coercive Control & Recovering From Trauma

@CCCBuryStEd

2 Apr

There are men who PROUDLY proclaim they would never, ever hit a woman. Men who will say they have been brought up properly and that any man who raises a hand to a woman is the lowest of the low.

A THREAD

They would never hit a woman.

But they see nothing wrong in betraying her trust by having affairs and then lying to her or gaslighting her into believing she is paranoid for believing he could cheat. I mean, what’s wrong with her that she can’t trust him?!?!?

They would never hit a woman.

But they see nothing wrong in making her feel worthless. Eroding her self esteem by constantly talking about other women and their attributes, asking her why she isn’t more like them, or how she could be more like them - if only she lost weight etc.

Read 26 tweets

Coercive Control & Recovering From Trauma

@CCCBuryStEd

31 Mar

What enables abusers?
In what kind of eco system does a perpetrator thrive?

A THREAD

The abuser’s mindset is helped by the ecosystem they inhabit. This includes the people around them, the society they are part of and the punitive systems that are in place to hold them accountable.

1. The Abuser’s Mindset

Abusers feel entitled.

They feel deserving of special treatment.
They demand that their needs are met.
Above and beyond all else.
Woe betide anyone who doesn’t comply.

Read 13 tweets

Coercive Control & Recovering From Trauma

@CCCBuryStEd

13 Feb

A lot of women get in touch to ask me about #coercivecontrol and come to the conclusion that their partner is controlling, but not abusive enough that they want to leave.

So when is the right time to leave?

A THREAD

Is it when he calls you an ugly bitch the first time?
Or do you wait for him to call you it again?
Or do you wait until he has so completely undermined your sense of self worth that you don’t think you can leave?

Is it when he says that no one will love you like he does?

Or do you wait until he says that no one else COULD love you.

Or that you are unloveable?

Read 13 tweets

Coercive Control & Recovering From Trauma

@CCCBuryStEd

13 Feb

As Valentines Day is coming up, this is worth pondering on.

Don’t go into a relationship thinking you can change the other person.

If you think they need to change, it’s not the right relationship.

Don’t think they’ll change for you when they’re more committed/ married.

If they’re not * it* already, it’s not going to happen.

Read 8 tweets

Coercive Control & Recovering From Trauma

@CCCBuryStEd

12 Feb

Whenever there is a conversation about rape, the making of false allegations are often, if not usually, brought up.

Let’s talk about what USUALLY happens when women are raped by their partners or husbands.

By the fathers of their children.

NOTHING. NOTHING HAPPENS.

THREAD

This gets rarely talked about.
Women don’t report the rape BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO RUIN THE MAN’S LIFE

Because it’s not any man. It’s their partner, their husband.
It’s the father to their children.

Women don’t report because, if they DO speak about it with someone in their family, THEY ARE TOLD NOT TO REPORT.

They are told it will break up the family

They are told it will ruin his life.

They are told it will damage the children, if the children know their father raped.

Read 13 tweets

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!