By last year, at the Season Premiere of Uhunyes Lockdown 1, we'd been blowing up our medical cover consistently.

To the point where Le Partner and I just did cash at consultation and let the outpatient cover the girls.

And it was cold this, cough that, infection that other one.
From lockdown one up until schools re-opened, we barely went to the hospital. Maybe once or twice. And when it did, it wasn't the common things. Dental appointments & gikmakamago.

Zero colds.

The concoctions, staying at home made sure we were all well for as long as we could.
Walahi, as soon as schools opened, and with the consistent regime of wash hands, concoctions this and being active, things went back to segemnegemege.

Sniffle here, achuuuuu there. Cough this, cold that, tummy aches that other one...

And the cover was blown. Again.

😭😭😭
So maybe the ninos are really going through it, and whatever it is they are passing on to each in schools is what is toughening them against whatever it is out there.

And blowing up covers in the process.

Because heh.
.
Anyway, mko poa?

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More from @paushinski

18 Sep
Anyway, meanwhile at the Estate.

256 had said they were moving back to shags but ni kama hawakuwa wamesikizana na Osband. Coz Osband told the security not to let anyone view the house. Because he already has someone who has booked it. But he didn't tell 256.
In fact Former SQ guy 108 had asked if he can refer someone who was looking for a house, but 256 akamwambia, 'Wewe umeanza kushi kwa nyumba juzi leo umeshakuwa agent?'

So 108 aka-catch vibaya sana. He was genuinely offended. He said his only mistake in life was living in an SQ.
So leo hapo kwa wossap group, mtu akasema ati they sent someone who was meant to come see the house, but was frozen at the gate. Kama tenant àmepatikana, waseme.

Huyo 256 akabeba uTaliban akauliza soldiers kwani form ni gani?

They say Osband said mtu asiingie. Nyumba ishaenda.
Read 4 tweets
2 Sep
Previously on...
THE BEASTS FROM THE EAST.
.
Georgie gets home.
Cops are all over.
A lady is down on the floor bleeding.
He get mobbed by cops.
He wakes up, somewhere, with a dislocated shoulder.
And he doesn't know where his family is.
.
#IKnowAGuy Ssn 7.
Ep 2/3
#GunsOfNairobi
~
Disclaimer: Tutulie please. Similarity of names, locations and conversations are all purely coincidental. Haitaki hasira.
~
Around 7:00pm, the door is opened.

He knows the time because he can hear the Swahili bulletin.

Two guys in lab coats come and lift him from the floor.
They tell him they are taking him to hosi soon, to get his shoulder checked. But before that he has to eat.

He says he is not hungry.

They insist he must eat. They ask him what he wants to eat.

He says he is feeling cold. Very cold.

They tell him not to worry. 'Tutaku-sort!'
Read 19 tweets
14 Jun
Guys.

The womens at Houses No. 18 and No. 19 are BFFs.

Ok. They were BFFs until yesterday. But their relationship ended yesterday. Na nyumba zimeshikana.

😭😭😭
So number 18 is reaaaaaally nice. And cute. Very cute. Like OMG she is so cute if she was a vegetable she'd a cute-cumber.

I digress.

Number 19 na yeye pia sio mbaya saaaaaaaaaaaaaaana. Ni vile amependa makeups na stuffs kama hizo.

Enegwei. So both No. 18 & 19 had housies.
Housie wa number 19 was being mistreated. Ish ish.

By the way that housie was nice. Her nickname was Wikileaks.

She was head of DCI Housie's Branch huku. their house is near Min Moraa's shop and she'd tell the housies who bought what from the shop and it would always get to us.
Read 12 tweets
11 May
The Eastleigh Boys.
Episode 2 Part One.
.
The perfect Monday morning.

Three Somali boys, Ahmad, 28, Aden, 28 and Yasiir, 32, walk into a coffee shop inside that Kilimani mall. They are wearing some nice designer fitting suits, and shoes.
.
I Know A Guy: Season 6.
THE EARTHMOVERS
DISCLAIMER: Names and Locations purely coincidental. Haitaki hasira.
.
They all have an athlete’s, or soldier physique. They smell great as well. They are carrying some papers in a folder.

They look around, before noticing, Thomas, the person they are here to meet.
They see him as he lightly waves his hand, almost standing. Thomas 35, is seated with another guy, Mustafa, 27. Somali as well.
.
Later, according to Thomas, all these guys looked the same, in every way, like… as if they were brothers.

Lakini si watu ukweli hufanana?

Enewei!
Read 41 tweets
3 May
#IKnowAGuy: Season 6
THE EARTHMOVERS.
EPISODE 1
PART 3 OF 3.
.
3 years later. The case is still going on.

In that time, she is moved to the Prime Minister’s office, as the Secretary. An upgrade, of course.

She is expected to retire in 5 years. Aingie system ya pension.

#Thread Image
***
Disclaimer: Similarity of names, places and situation purely coincidental. Haitaki hasira.
***
Margaret cannot believe that she can be this high up in gava and very close to power but she still cannot seem to make any headway, and even get any help to get her land
back.
Huku kotiko things are thick. Mara the case file is lost. Mara prosecutor is sick. Mara a new magistrate. A new prosecutor comes and needs time to get well acquainted with the case. Mara there some inconsistencies in claims nini. Huku Johns defence keeps pushing dates and times.
Read 49 tweets
27 Apr
#IKnowAGuySeries
THE EARTHMOVERS.
PART 2 OF 3.
.
Kriiiiing’. Kriiiiing.’

Those old school phones with a dial spinner rings on the 22nd Floor of Treasury Building.

A lady, the PS’s secretary picks it. She picks phones for a living. Alafu responds to the needs. She's a virtuoso.
***
Disclaimer: Similarity of names and situation purely coincidental. Haitaki hasira.
***
‘Hallo!’
‘Hallo. Nataka kuongea na madam Margaret.’
‘Speaking. Naongea na nani?’
‘Ni George. Hawa watu wamekuja hapa. Wamekuja wamebeba mwili na sanduku ati wanataka kuzika.’
‘Watu wagani?'
‘Hawa watu. Ata wameangusha fence wakaingia kwa boma.’

Aiii.

‘Strange. Uko wapi?’ She asks.
‘Niko hapa kwa shamba, Utawala.’

The phone katikas.

Margaret gathers herself. She excuses herself, letting the other secretary handle business. She is composed, with a steady poise.
Read 46 tweets

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