Thread by @danielvankirk

Boarded my flight for the @208ComedyFest & we've got a big fight going down on this plane. Wish anyone was here to watch this show with me

Two people preboarded with a peanut allergy (which based on their actions, they may or may not actually have. So just trust me.)

They tried to sit in the exit row. And it became a helluva ordeal. As one flight attendant tried to explain to them that preboarders cannot

in the exit row and was deescalating the situation an older male flight attendant (donning a beautifully long ponytail) got on the PA and...

started yelling at the people that since they claim to have a "peanut allergy" that "they can't sit over the wing! He then...

ended his yelling at them with the words "that clear enough for ya?!" Believe it or not. Ponytail dude did not help this problem.

Side note: I will not say which airline I am on because I want ponytail man to work here forever.

Back to the story: things got outta hand from there. The people started yelling at ponytail (from their new unwanted seats)...

"We don't want people knowing my allergies!" The initial flight attendant was still trying her best to deescalate.

Should've told you already but by this point I'm chilling in the exit row. The seats these two wanted. That's gonna come into play now.

Because as they were all yelling across the plane at each other, a new (3rd) flight attendant came up to me said...

"sir, I don't think you're allowed to sit there. You have an allergy."
I looked at her and said "I'm not the droid you're looking for.

Oh how we laughed.
Once I explained, she asked why ponytail was yelling. I explained. She retreated to the back of the plane. Smart move.

Ponytail then walks down the aisle to the people and gets sent away by the first and best flight attendant. He then picks up the PA again...

"PEANUTS ARE BANNED ON THIS FLIGHT CUZ OF ALLERGIES! AND ALCOHOL IS ALSO NOW BANNED ON THIS FLIGHT! Nobody is gonna have any fun."

Then the pilot gets involved. He gets on the PA and insists that "due to NO ONE on this flights fault we are not leaving for a few minutes."

Pilot said that at least 5 times.
And this is where we're at. Tbh everyone seems to have chilled out. But I have no clue what's happening.

Last thing, this is my new buddy, Ken. Ken says these people are full of shit and he's eating the peanuts in his bag as soon as we take off.

Every single thing I've told you is exactly how it has happened.

I hope we never take off.

Ken and I are legit best friends now. He just told me a story about his friends prostate. And you won't believe what else...

Ken is a badass. 14 years in the Majors.

I am sitting next to a 1963 World Series Champion.

So far I've begged Ken to tell me about Colfax, Drysdale, Scully, Ron Santo, Ernie Banks, getting hit by pitches, fighting, and shitty umps.

Just got off the plane and ponytail handed me an entire bag of peanuts.
These are the days my friends.

Just hugged Ken McMullen goodbye. Was an honor to meet him and watch those people fight. I love this shit. Hope that's clear enough for ya!