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The Hoarse Whisperer @HoarseWisperer
, 25 tweets, 4 min read Read on Twitter
Alright, fine people. Since it's a slow news night, let's play a little catch-up on just how bad a world of **** young Jared Kushner is in.

America's oldest prepubescent presidential adviser is in some trouble.

1/
First, to know Jared, ya gotta start by shaking the family tree.

Young Kush is the son of Charles Kushner. His dad is a real class act... Went to prison after hiring a prostitute to seduce his brother-in-law on tape so Charles could send it to his sister...

2/
Apparently, Charles' bro-in-law was a cooperating witness in what eventually became an 18-count conviction, so Charles paid him back by ruining his own sisters' marriage. Nice guy.

These are the Kushner Family vaues. 3/
In an ironic twist, Daddy Kush didn't get sent UP the river. He got sent down the river... all the way to Alabama.

Daddy did time in a federal pen in the state that just handed the Trump-Kushner Clan another bad memory last week.

4/
Now, when Big Daddy Felon was off doing push-ups in the rec yard, Young Jared was left at the helm of the family's real estate empire.

Unfortunately, Jared is what is known in the real estate world as "terrible at buying real estate".

5/
As many a young dope left in charge of the family store has done, Jared rushed off to do something even bigger than Daddy had ever done.

Well, he kinda succeeded. Young Kush managed to engineer perhaps the worst commercial real estate deal in NYC history. 6/
Young Kush managed to "negotiate" a deal so bad, it stood virtually no chance of succeeding even in the frothy market of 2007... and then 2008 happened.

By the time Daddy was back atop the ship, it was already listing to port under the weight of Jared's gleaming albatross. 7/
Ever since, the family has been reeling under the weight of a monstrous debt obligation to the tune of $500 mil with a clock rapidly ticking down on some big payments due...

Jared bought a clunker for almost $2 bil and put the family on a path to losing it... 8/
Now, enter candidate Donald Trump...

Young Jared apparently saw his father-in-law's candidacy and election as the perfect oppty to horse-trade some presidential access or favor for a massive loan. 9/
Unfort, that hasn't gone quite as planned. Nobody with any sense will float the boy genius an egregious, highly public sum to get him out from under his midtown money pit.

Jared is desperate - and has been since 2016. 10/
According to published reports he came thiiiiiiiiis close to pulling it off. He had lined up a massive deal with Chinese investors just after the election. 11/
He was poised to actually parlay his access into an 11th hour bailout... but then the backlash against Trump scared off the investors.

Foiled!

...and back Jared went to hunting for foreign friends. 12/
Now, in parallel, it has also been widely reported that he was making entirely harebrained decisions around how to hide those foreign overtures. e.g. setting up a back-channel to Russia through the Russian embassy. 13/
Young Jared is bad at real estate. He's even worse at engineering back room deals.

A real shame, isn't it?

Anyway, Jared has made a mess of things.

14/
As a result of his dopey combination of desperation and ignorance, he managed to draw the spotlight squarely to his little dealings... and then he advised his daddy-in-law to fire Comey to try to get out from under. 15/
As of the most recent reports, Jared had shopped his horribly upside-down bailout proposal to sovereign funds from here to Minsk with no takers...

...and all the while, he has both prodded Trump into bad decisions and made plenty of his own.

16/
He's looked shady AF on his security forms. He failed to produce all of the documents requested by investigating committees. He refused to acknowledge the already well reported details listed above. 17/
He's done everything humanly possible to look like a low-rent grifter while coming away with nothing for his efforts.

He's the anti-Paul Manafort. At least Paulie Walnuts got the money.

18/
So this brings us up to the present... Young Jared has a $500 million dollar motive, a familial history of fraud, and a year-long track record of shooting his own **** off.

Things ain't coming up aces for Mr. Ivanka.
19/
Now, here's where you can add your own conjecture and speculation...

Based on all of the above, whatcha think the odds are that Jared's desperate Hail Mary to find someone to save the family jewel ended up in the emails currently sitting on Mueller's desk?

20/
What do you think the odds are that at least sooooome of Jared's ham-handed attempts to talk foreign investors into kicking him a half bil. ended up in a NatSec intelligence report?

21/
The irony is that Jared Kushner is the half-blood prince in the fraudy version of Harry Potter.

He's half a low-rent fraudster like his dad and half a high-rent fraud like his father-in-law.

22/
I'd wager a kidney that Young Jared is gonna beat the family record for time in the federal pen...

...and the irony of it all is that as long as the stink doesn't stink to him, Trump won't bat an eyelash over his son-in-law's woes. 23/
Now, at some point, I suspect Young Jared is going to come to realize just that... Daddy-in-law ain't gonna save him... and that's when it's going to get interesting.

Flynn flipped when he realized Trump had no loyalty. Jared's gonna find that out too.

24/
As I said in my pinned tweet way back in the day, Trump will sell out his entire family by the time this is over.

The interesting part is going to be watching to see if any of them return the favor.

<end>
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