Thread by @rustedtraveler

So we've been expecting a USPS package to arrive from my folks. Original date was Saturday last. When it hadn't arrived by Wednesday noon, got on to track. Huh. Shows delivery on Monday morning at 0803.

I was out and returned to the house at 0807. I remember the time because I was earlier than normal. Anyhow. Searched high and low on the porch and any other spot deliveries have been made in the past. Nothing.

So to the post office I went. Spoke with the fella I normally deal with. Told him the situation, he took the tracking number and disappeared to the back of the post office. Comes back and has me show him on a map which house is ours.

We share a driveway/road with our down the hill neighbors. Items have been mistakenly delivered there before. Dude says that's where it shows delivered so maybe give a call and see.

So Alice calls and leaves message and has H run a note down asking if maybe ours got mixed in with theirs. Thirty minutes or so and they call back. Nope. Haven't seen anything delivered for you.
Okay. Back to Post Office.

Pause for setting. We are at the end of a long uphill drive. No one has ever walked here and stopped by. Can't see house from road. Absolutely no foot traffic. The only trick or treater we've ever had was the neighbors granddaughters. No random passersby.

At post office Alice is told that we'd have no information until tomorrow[today]. Carrier was still out and part time carrier doesn't work again until Thursday. Plus postmaster. Fine. Let them some time to sort their shit out.

Mom got a call in AZ yesterday from the postmaster here. She was told that it in fact had been delivered and was probably stolen from the porch. Mom politely explains that is very unlikely due to location. Call ends with same. We will check w/carrier and whatnot. Expect news thur

So, today I stop at the post office at 1545. Ring the bell and out from the back comes the fella. I asked if he had any news on the package. Odd look passes across his face. Says Yeah, we know where it is and are trying to get it back for you

Says that if they're unable to retrieve the package, they'll get the postal inspector involved.
So I ask where it is.
No answer.
I ask about geo tagging when scan delivered.
Still no words.
I ask if it got delivered to neighbors.
Head nod yes.

Aha
I see how this works. Say no more!
I asked if the carrier remembers the delivery.
Nods yes.
Says the GPS shows delivery to our neighbors and the carrier remembers handing the package to a man.
Okay. Thanks for the information.

Thinking back to Monday morning I remember a dude working on his VW in the shop as we went down the drive. H and I commented that he was at it early.

So the entire drive back up the valley I'm weighing my next move. I should explain that the dude working on the car is NOT the neighbor. The neighbors daughter and boyfriend/husband/whatever are staying with them for a bit to get on their feet.

It's what family does, right? Helps each other out. Anyways as I'm driving up the valley I can feel my anger level rising. Getting pissed. But holding out and giving the benefit of the doubt. As I pass their house I can see dude working on his car.

I drive past and come in the house, wood on the fire and fuck it. I'm feeling groggy. So back down the drive I go. Didn't walk. Took the Subaru. As I pull in I'm greeted with a giant slice of asscrack. Dude looks up toward me and I put it in park. Still idling.

I open the door and step out keeping the door between me and one of his big fucking dogs. Dogs btw that are keen on shitting all over up here. In the driveway and in the front of my shop. Anyways the dog is big and barky.

Dude hollers for THOR (Yes) to STFU. As I'm opening my mouth to ask asscrack mechanic if he's seen the package, front door of the house opens. Out comes the oldest daughter. Asscrack is her sisters BF. She asks if I've had any luck finding the package.

No, I say. Just stopped by to ask again if maybe it was overlooked. Was at the post office and they think it was delivered here by mistake, so would you mind taking a look? Sure they say. Asscrack mechanic starts pawing thru a pile of autopart delivery boxes.

What was the name? I get lots of packages here...he dogs thru the shop and then says lemme go check inside. Inside is a 20-25 ft camp trailer. Not a lot of space. Anyways he climbs in the trailer and shuts the door.

I'm left outside still shooting the shit with the non boyfriend sister. We chat about weather/holiday/family
Probably 5-8 minutes worth. I casually mention that I'd just been at the post office and the scanned GPS shows delivered there

And that the carrier remembers handing the package to a fella. Dude is still in trailer looking. Comes out kinda scratching his unwashed head and says that there was nothing there. Says he even went back through the boxes he's opened.

Again I give the information about GPS, and the carrier remembering and not trying to be a bother but gee it'd be swell if you'd please take another look around.

She says I'll have my dad call when he gets home about 1730 because you know maybe it's in his car or something. I said I'd appreciate it and came back home. Called the folks to bring them up to speed. Mom details what was in the box

Three bright beaded bracelets for the girls, 5 holiday cards, a ceramic I love you to the moon mug and a pound of coffee. That's it. So here is what (law and order ba da dum) I think may have happened.

Asscrack mechanic was out working on his car. Accepted the delivery either by accident or more nefarious motives. My guess is we didn't come looking for the box soon enough and his curiosity got the better of him and he opened the box

Now here is the problem. Let's say box was delivered there and not noticed and is stuck under something else. No biggie. The part that fouls me up is the carrier remembering handing it to a dude and dude was wrenching Monday morn

So why would you still claim that you know nothing of the delivery? Unless you got it and decided that no one was coming looking so fuck it let's see what's inside. So now you've a box not addressed to you that you've opened and what the fuck

No cash. Nothing to pawn. No gift cards. Some bracelets and coffee and holiday cards. But the box is open and the deed done, right? So now I'm there asking questions again and what are his choices?

Either straightaway come clean and say that yes it's here and was accidentally opened and I'm sorry here you go or it's here and unopened OR it's been opened and dude is stubborn and is gonna stick with his story, right?

My gut is leaning toward asscrack mechanic having opened or destroyed the package and is going to deny deny deny. I remember when we played mailbox baseball that fucking with the mail is a BIG deal.

I'll wait to hear from the Dad. Oh and the fella at the post office had a glint in his eye when he mentioned getting the postal inspector involved so I guess there's that. Kept my emotions under control and was cool as a cucumber.