So you keep hurtling down the path of deconstruction...good! I’m not afraid of this. God is an arsonist, regularly setting fire to systems & structures (especially religious ones) that keep out the Spirit’s wildness. If it can burn, let it burn. If it can be shaken, let it shake.
God is full of mischief. You couldn’t be more disruptive than God is if you wanted to. The question for you is...will you stick around for the new construction, on the other side of the deconstruction? Taking it all apart is exhilarating at first, then gets boring after awhile.
Will new practices take the place of the ones that stopped working for you? Will new community replace the one that failed you/or that you failed? After you’ve dissected the corpse on the table, & coolly examined the anatomy...will you sign back up for magic & wonder again?
I’m not trying to keep you from taking anything apart. I’m encouraging you to keep going until you get to the other side. Because as scandalous as it feels to strip it down at first—the new construction is where it really gets interesting.
That’s where Spirit is trying to take you-to a garden where you can play & dream & create & build again. You don’t really think God called you to just sit here in the rubble forever, do you? There is no judgment on where you are. All I’m saying is...KEEP. ON. GOING.
You stay here with the corpses, & you’ll become a corpse yourself. You stand around just watching the fire too long, you won’t know when the fire moves on...or goes out. Revel too long in not being what you used to be, & you’ll become everything you hate.
Death is not a destination; death is a passage. Death is not a port, but a portal. Death is the narrow gate that leads to life, & the life-giver. You may well be where you’re supposed to be...you just can’t stay here. Everything ending, prepares the way for your safe passage.
A strong but tender, weathered hand reaches out to you, in the rubble. Trust it. Take it. Let yourself be lifted. The kindness in the Shepherd’s eyes, is not an illusion. Cry all the tears you need to...but cross over. He was with you in the walking away. Now, you can be carried.
You thought you’d never feel at home again. But home is where you were always headed. You just can’t get there on your own. The only way to get where you need to go, is to be carried. You don’t need to know the way. The way, is surrender.
New life awaits you. All you have to do...is not resist it. You don’t need to know, only to trust.
trust.
trust.
trust.
trust.
trust.
trust.
(Crying & crying...cause that’s a WORD for somebody. Who may in fact even be quite uncomfortable with the notion of getting “a word.” :) )
