1/17. A thread with some jumbled thoughts about how we live race, public safety, and the resources too many don’t have after watching a Black couple arguing in a gentrifying neighborhood.
2. Heard shouting outside my window so I went to see what was up. Eventually saw a Black man pulling a Black woman out of a car into the middle of the street.
3. Once out of the car, she commenced to slapping him in the face while he shouted “yo, calm down! Calm down!” That sequence repeated a couple of times. He’d pull her towards him. She’d slap and they’d both shout.
4. So I went to put pants on. Shut up. It’s a Sunday.
5. As I was walking out to try to deescalate, security from my building showed up. Both of them started pleading their case to him. (I waited to go outside once someone was on the scene).
6. They got in and out of the car a couple of times. Shouting continued. Then the security guard said “you know this neighborhood. Someone already called the cops by now. Y’all aren’t safe arguing here anymore.”
7. They both stopped dead in their tracks. Both of them started crying. Like, immediate boohooing. Asking “Why?! Why they tryin to kill us?!” Everything about it hurt, especially that they “don’t even have space to argue” without fearing the consequences of a White gaze.
8. They left shortly thereafter, separately. Then I spoke to the security guard. I asked him, “Why did you say that?” He answered, “Because it’s true. We’re not safe when the cops show up. That’s why I ain’t a cop no more.”
9. The whole affair really moved me. I wanted the couple to have better options than what they got. Counseling. Possibly protection for the woman. And the resolution of their argument made me terribly sad.
10. It seems to me that, if we cared about women, we would all know a number to call for crisis intervention. And if we cared about Black people, we’d have a number for public safety that didn’t invite terror. And if we cared about Black women, we’d have both.
11. Calling the cops for too many means inviting the specter of death into a situation. It means the end of safety, not the beginning. That they both started literally crying when they thought of police, that’s not public safety.
12. That the guard didn’t have any better solutions, didn’t have violence or couples counseling info also isn’t public safety. And I guess that’s what moved me most.
13. I work in communities that live outside the protection of resources. They often feel like they are on their own. And the only folks they can call may bring death and abuse with them to solve the problem.
14. I cannot overstate what this does to the mindset of Americans who live—or grow up—in these neighborhoods. On your own, and the help available is the greatest threat. Forget whether or not that’s “accurate.” Folks live this way.
15. Later today I’ll be speaking to a couple of police chiefs. They mostly get this. They’re both dedicate public servants. But both are concerned that their rank & file/unions don’t see the full picture when they’re called to incidents like the one in front of my building.
16. I worry about the departments those chiefs run, but I also worry about the country from which new officers are hired. When we see two Black folks arguing, I don’t think most Americans see people struggling to figure out how to make it without a safety net.
17. I worry for that couple. I worry for a building and a country that doesn’t really see them. And I worry that there will not be enough focused attention to help either get better. /fin
