Thread by @melisscaru

So at the zoo this weekend I met this peacock, who is THE WORLD'S MOST MAGNIFICENT TROLL. I am still laughing. (Bird drama thread!)

So he's one of those peacocks who just wanders randomly around the zoo. He's outside the fence that you see there.

In fact, the fence is for an enclosure that includes pronghorn and—this is the relevant part—wild turkeys.

Now, I happen to have a ton of wild turkeys in my neighborhood, and I can tell you that this is the season of Trying To Impress The Ladies, which, for tom torkeys, involves a lot of strutting around and fanning your tail.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

So this poor tom turkey is showing off for his ladies with what is a genuinely impressive tail fan for a turkey, when UP ROLLS THIS GUY like "Helloooooo, ladies."

And the lady turkeys are all like "Oooooooh" and suddenly Tom doesn't even exist.

His tail droops. The ladies are all chatting it up with Prince Fancypants, who is ABSOLUTELY DOING THIS ON PURPOSE.

But Tom is determined. He fans that tail again, tries to catch their eyes. I mean, this jerk isn't even the same SPECIES.

HA HA HA no. The ladies don't care.

Tom tries to herd the ladies away from this interloping showoff. Like OMG CAN YOU STOP STARING AT HIM I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU LOOK AT MY TAIL DAMMIT PLEEEEEAAASE.

And the ladies are all NOPE HA HA SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF HOW MAGNIFICENT HIS TAIL IS and just WALK AROUND HIM TO GO STARE AT THE PEACOCK SOME MORE.

This went on for as long as my family would let me watch and giggle at this poor tom and the High Prince of Fabulous Trolls, and I'm sure much longer than that. For all I know, this is just what that peacock does all day, for fun.

So I guess if you're ever feeling like someone is upstaging you, wow, just be glad you're not this poor turkey.