Thread by @adamfelber

Ha!

Btw, @keefstuart, that’s a fine article there, and a handy guide!

Also, note that my strategy drives my son and his friends absolutely nuts, because it’s boring to watch.

So if you want to annoy your kids and grab a top-10 finish, here’s “A Coward’s Guide to Fortnite.”

https://twitter.com/susiefelber/status/1001547986235805698

First, you’ll want to drop somewhere private, but with access to weapons and stuff.

My favorite was shown to me by the teen kid next door: An umbrella-shaped hole in the ground just west of Anarchy Acres and north of Loot Lake.

There’s usually weaponry scattered about the crater, and often an ammo box and a treasure chest or two in the cave at the “umbrella’s” handle.

ProTip: Mine all the wood down there - there’s a secret room to find.

ProCowardTip: While you’re there... stay there.

The storm will eventually force you to move. You want to be the last one into the “circle of life” for a few reasons.

For one, people are fleeing. Meaning you can sneak into buildings that might’ve been un-raided, or pick up discarded loot. You know, like a cowardly little rat!

Also, when players flee the storm, they generally don’t look behind them. So if you’re the last one in, you can skulk around, Gollum-like, as those meathead “heroes” blow each other to bits.

But if you’re not storm-skulking, you’ll want to find nice, secure hiding places. “Find” is the key work here - DON’T BUILD. Even when you’re done, player-created edifices are a dead giveaway, and you’ll be dead.

You want to find a building, and hopefully one that has quite obviously been looted already - doors open, nothing in the windows, etc.

If you think you can do it without attracting attention, you might even wanna knock out an exterior wall for that used-up, fixer-upper look.

Then find a nice, quiet room, lay a trap if you have one, get in the corner, crouch, and... do nothing.

I mean nothing. Sip your beverage, put the controller down, and watch your kids and their friends lose their minds.

Also enjoy watching the number of living combatants dwindle and reading the colorful descriptions of their stupid, heroic deaths.

Sooner or later you’ll have to fight. Either you’ll be caught skulking around, or the storm will have contracted the battlefield to the size of a Sacajawea, or your hiding space will be found.

Your first course of action should be the Brave Sir Robin Gambit: Run away!

Running is effective if you’re being sniped. Especially if you build a wall to get behind. Hell, throw up a couple, and maybe a ramp too! This’ll create the impression you’re going to turn and fight.

This impression is wrong. As soon as you’re done building, run directly away.

At close range, though, running away is impractical. Especially in crowded areas or towards the endgame. It’s a noisy enterprise, and everyone will converge on you, sensing the opportunity for an easy kill.

Kids care a lot about getting kills.

So you’re going to have to fight.

Make your first shot or two calmly, at head or torso level, and hope for the best.

Then jump around in circles like an idiot while unloading your entire arsenal.

Look, you probably won’t make it, but this is your only chance.

Also note that if you wound someone, or if they’re just trying be impress, they may respond to your attack by building some elaborate impromptu fort to protect themselves and eliminate you from safety.

If this happens, first ask yourself - is there anywhere I can run away to?

There might be. Remember that these are mostly kids, and they are assuming that you’re a kid, and that you will respond in kind, building your own fort and battling bravely to the death.

They are assuming wrong.

Also, as I said, building shit attracts attention. So your foe is likely to have several other violent morons drop by their new house, and they’ll all be able to happily blow each others’ heads off while you head for high ground.

All that said, more than half the time, once shots get fired, you’re toast.

But if you’ve followed this guide, you’re likely to be toast much later in the game than your kid just was, so, effectively, you WIN!

Or at least you can plausibly claim that. Again and again. All day.