Thread by @GailSimone

Guys. Guys.

Guys.

Listen.

We have stayed the last couple nights in a hotel. It’s close to the hospital but a little low rent, though the staff is very nice. And they have a little breakfast bar thing for guests each morning.

This is where it happened.

I’ve been worried about my mom and we didn’t want the breakfast bar thing, but I was finishing a Domino scene and I needed some tea. So I get up, and go into the lobby.

And it’s people sitting around at tables, like nothing weird is going on. Families, older people, some kids.

And one older gentleman sitting alone.

OR SO I THOUGHT.

So I am making my tea, and I notice the old guy is having cereal and coffee, by himself.

There’s a sack of clothes or bags in the chair across from him.

OR SO I THOUGHT!

On second notice, I see that it’s not clothes or bags.

It is, in fact...

...a ventriloquist’s dummy.

And guess what?

It has a CLOWN FACE.

Now, I cannot describe the feeling when you unexpectedly come across an old guy having breakfast with a clown puppet at the little chain hotel in Springfield, Oregon.

And it’s a CLOWN.

It’s wearing a suit, like a business suit. Not a clown suit.

So he just randomly has a clown face. It doesn’t make sense.

I am creeped out.

CREEPED THE **** OUT.

To make it worse, NO ONE is acting like this is weird, no one is even LOOKING at him.

This is a forgotten Twilight Zone.

With clown puppets.

So I go back to the room, shaking my head.

I put the tea down and go back to work.

I take a sip, I forgot the tea. I have a cup of hot water with some cream in it.

Guys.

You guys.

I go back to the lobby...

The old guy is still there, having coffee.

The clown puppet is gone.

Somehere in the hotel, the business-suited clown puppet is walking the halls.

So, I honestly a, laughing and freaking out at the same time, and I try to explain to @rocketspouse about how the clown FACE and the business suit BODY don’t match.

And my darling hubby says, “Oh, he probably killed a yuppie puppet and put his own head on it.”

THANKS, HUBBY.

So, we decided that a yuppie puppet is called a yuppet.

And that this one was named Corky McMurder.

And the punchline to this story?

We have gotten to know the staff at this hotel desk, they are very nice.

And they were there all morning. So when we checked out, I asked the lady, “That was kind of weird, that guy with the puppet, right?”

And SHE says...

“What puppet?”

GUYS.

WHAT PUPPET.

And now I live in this nice facility and the doctors are EVeR sO NiCe.

Teeny voice heard from nowhere and everywhere...”I need a new boddddyyyyyyyy I need a new bodddddyyyy...”