This is why I left Extra Credits. This is why I cut people out of my life. I trusted a few enough to reach out to them for help, and while some tried, no one could change anything. The man who holds all the cards controls the situation. And James Portnow holds all the cards.
After our romantic relationship ended, he turned my working life into a living nightmare. Work was used as a lever to try and make me spend time with him again, so we could maintain the illusion of friendship even while he tortured me. Ever wonder why I stopped doing Lies?
He attacked me for it - repeatedly. I was letting the company down by not doing Lies with him, because Lies was "better" with me in it. Was that a compliment? I tried to tell him that I needed time and space, and to tell him that these demands were hurting me. He flipped it.
He told me that *I* was being the aggressor. That I couldn't let things go, that I was hurting him, that I was constantly attacking him and it wasn't fair. And at the time, I feared that he was right. Maybe I was petty. Maybe I was mean! Maybe I was being unfair.
Then, one day, he exploded. A work email where we disagreed was suddenly cause for him to accuse me of lying, of manipulating facts, of trying to make him look bad. But he'd asked for me opinion! And my opinion was that I disagreed. I restated my case. I asked to be recused.
He did not recuse me. He came after me. First in private email, telling me all the places where I'd supposedly lied. Then in private messages, demanding that I meet him the next day, and as always, painting himself the victim. He was so hurt. He was so tired. How could I do this?
I said no. I told him to stop talking. He kept talking. I asked to get a mediator involved in this situation, fast spiraling out of control. He kept talking. I told him again: stop talking. He kept talking. So I blocked him. Did it stop there? No.
He sent me an email to get around the block. Same plea, same story. He was so tired. He only wanted peace. Please come meet with him. And I said no. I said stop. He emailed me again. I said "this is harassment." So he emailed someone else, asking them to pass me a message.
This behavior never stopped. This man never apologized. I turned in my resignation and left the company quickly, quietly, desperate to get out. You'd think that would have been the end of it, but you'd be wrong there too.
James started telling the other contractors, my former co-workers, that I had committed "a fireable offense." He painted himself as as a hero who graciously allowed me to resign, even though I was so terrible, and painted my last paycheck as a concession that he gave.
He reshaped Extra Credits around himself, stacking it with friends who did not see or would not question his behavior, and driving out the few who did. Wonder why so many people left in such a hurry? Whoops. That's why.
This man has made a career out of being a Progressive Voice in video games. He was featured in The New York Times for speaking out against harassment. And yet. And yet and yet and yet. He harassed me out of a job. He spread lies about me after I left.
There's your Extra Credits. There's your James Portnow. There's my truth, finally, about the way I left and why. I've got receipts, but I won't be sharing them today. But my silence, my complicity, is done.
I'm going off the grid, but let me add one thing now that I've cooled: not everyone still there, is there to be complicit. Some know nothing (what happened was deliberately hidden). Some have no better choice. I feel for any pain my sudden revelation may have caused them.
In any case, I do not speak for them. Their reasons, their reactions, their stories are their own. To the extent I have my own story to share, I have named the only person who I feel is responsible. James Portnow harassed me out of my job at Extra Credits.
