This is a very worthwhile discussion, and I hope you ladies won't mind some mansplaining. boundless.org/blog/an-open-l… @EverywhereErica @laalex2 @KaeleyT
Mrs. Alexander is, of course, correct. Parents should not automatically assume that sending your daughters off to college is the thing to do, simply because that's what everybody else does.
Ideally, however, your daughter will have met and been courted by her future husband *before* she reaches college age. This was the case with our oldest daughter, who met her future husband at 15 and married him at 21.
Our oldest daughter finished high school at 16, lived at home until she was 19, then moved into an apartment with a roommate. She graduated college summa cum laude. She also spent a year abroad at a Christian college in Argentina.
The only debt our daughter had when she married was a small loan (about $2,000) she took out her senior year of college, because her roommate moved out and she needed extra money to cover the rent her last semester.
Our daughter worked her way through college, first as a waitress at a Pizza Hut, and then working at a daycare center. She majored in early childhood education, became a kindergarten teacher and by 28, was assistant principal at a Christian school.
Oh, her husband? He was captain of the school soccer team at the Christian academy they attended. He's now a lawyer. They had their first son last year. So my first point is, @laalex2's advice is entirely valid.
"Be ye not conformed to this world" (Romans 12:2) is still good advice. Christian parents need to raise children who do not mindless conform to whatever the latest cultural trend may be. @laalex2 is entirely correct in this regard.
OK, so what about @EverywhereErica's response to @laalex2? She is a godly young woman, but "weary" because she is still single, and the question underlying her response is, "Where are the godly young men?"
Have Christian parents failed in the raising of their sons? Where are the godly young men who will marry our daughters? This is the real question raised by @EverywhereErica's response to @laalex2.
Well, we also have four sons, so we have some experience in this regard as well. Our two oldest (twins) are 25. Both of them are married. One has two sons,already and the other has a 6-month-old daughter.
Christian parents should raise marriage-minded sons. They should not let their sons be "conformed to this world," thinking it is acceptable for a young man to go through a half-dozen "relationships" (I hate that euphemism) before "settling down."
While I claim no biblical authority for this observation, personally I think it is a mistake for parents to scoff at "young love" as insignificant, to view teenage romance as invariably transient. Marrying your high-school sweetheart is still a viable option.
When our sons struck up a romance as teenagers, we always took this as a serious matter, and encouraged them to think of girlfriends in terms of their potential as future wives. Raising marriage-minded sons requires this attitude.
For a boy to be marriage-minded, he must also have some practical plan toward achieving financial independence at an early age. One of our 25-year-old twins is a home-remodeling contractor. The other is an Army sergeant.
Our 19-year-old son has been dating the same girl since he was 15. We expect them to become engaged soon. Our 17-year-old son may also have already met his future wife, but we're trying not to jinx anything.
Teenage boys should be warned against getting a girl's hopes up on false premises. Teach your sons not to play with a girl's affections, to take seriously the possibility that his high school girlfriend might be his future wife.
The marriage-minded young man stands ready to "close the deal," to find the right girl and say, "Me Tarzan, you Jane" -- even if he meets her while they're still in high school. You can't win at the Game of Love if you're afraid to roll the dice.
It seems to me unlikely that @EverywhereErica never had a man interested in her. The question is, why weren't any of those men ready to close the deal? Why does there seem to be a shortage of marriage-minded Christian young men?
It is foolish to suppose that the problems of young women are unrelated to the problems of young men. We must consider both sides of the equation and, as parents, pay close attention to make sure our children don't get off track.
So I saw this dialogue between @EverywhereErica and @laalex2 in @KaeleyT's TL, and felt I could contribute something useful. Pardon me if my unsolicited opinions have offended anyone. @threadreaderapp unroll
