Every time my cat sits in my office chair I mercilessly roast him about how he's running a failed, late 90s e-commerce venture from my laptop. And yet still he sits there doing his e-commerce. Mate, you missed the dot com boom; you're making a fool of yourself.
If you've met my cat you'll know he looks like just the kind of guy who'd set up a failed e-commerce venture. He's this giant plush beast who you'd think would have a tiger's effortless dignity - but he has none. He shits in a tray & screams at moths, and is terrified of the sky.
Fucking love my turkeyboy <3
There's another bit I do with my cat where whenever he shits, I do a V/O for him in an enthusiastic Auckland accent (he's from NZ), proudly telling me he's cooked me a 'really good sausage'. Then as I flush it I make excuses about how I'm grateful but I don't fancy it right now.
Listen it may seem weird but I spend a LOT of time on my own with my cat & I've built up a deep canon of lore with him. He's a simple boy: he doesn't even understand what poo is. He'll drop a bum cylinder & look at me like he's done me a fucking favour. He thinks he's helping.
