(The answer is NOT "become a manager.". In a well-functioning org, managers have mostly separate sphere of influence. If this is not true of yours, change it or leave.)
Thread.
All of us have a place of authority we feel most comfortable leaning on. These can be loosely grouped into archetypes.
"Code wins arguments."
How many times have you seen a technical dispute resolved by who is willing to do the work? Or resolved one way.. then reversed by doing?
This may seem basic, but it matters.
"Doing the work that is desperately hard and needed, and desperately dull.". SOC2 compliance, data backups and restores, any auth integration ever. If you are this engineer, you have a deep well of respect and gratitude to draw from.
*Nobody* wants to piss off those people. Their consent is critical for... everything.
Some engineers are infinitely curious, and have a way of consistently sniffing a few steps ahead. They'll play around with something pointless, you wanna scold them; then they save your ass from total catastrophe.
Some are dazzlingly lazy and blow your mind with the elegant short cuts they devise.
Some are recruiting magnets, worth a salary for everyone who wants to work with them again.
Some are killer explainers and educators.
Some are the senior engineer that everyone silently wants to grow up to be.
Some can tell such an inspiring vision of tomorrow that everyone will run off to make it so.
They also make good tech leads. They can carve up projects into pieces that challenge but do not overwhelm each contributor.
I don't understand why so few seem to realize and use this. 🤔
Everyone has a mode or two where they feel powerful and comfortable. Seek out mentors or peers with modes that are similar to yours, and swap stories to accelerate your development.
Have you tried?
Leadership is power, wielded.
(Confession: that's why I became a manager.)
Power naturally flows to managers, but that's why it's so important to have managers who *push back*
So don't cut yourself off from the source of your power by denying it exists. ☺️
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SPEAK UP.
You can't have influence if nobody knows what you think or feel. You can't lead if nobody knows where you're trying to take them. So you have to be willing to fail and be wrong, in public.