Thread by @WayerKelvin

Church was very sad and disgusting for me today. I’d share what happened in this thread
READ UP!

So apparently, news hit the church that a teenage member of the church had committed suicide.
I usually help out with the teenage class so I know the girl very well. A very smart and vibrant girl. When I heard this news, It really broke me.

As expected, we had unusual visitors in the teenage class today. Mothers who came to “counsel” the other teenagers in a bid to get them in the right state of mind and avoid another loss.

It was just so funny how these women failed to address the issue. They basically came to justify their harsh and brutal style of parenting.
Apparently they heard the girl’s mother was always beating her and maltreating her and that might have contributed to her killing herself.

These women went on about how as teenagers they need to understand that their parents want the best for them and that when they beat and correct them, it’s out of love. One even mentioned that she wasn’t created to be a FRIEND to her children, that she was created to be a MOTHER.

Another one contributed by saying it’s IMPOSSIBLE to be your child’s friend because children always tend to do the wrong things and you have to fight them till they get on track. If you are friendly with them, it means you are sparing the rod and definitely spoiling the child.

Another one said she made sure her children never had phones till after university, that her children also didn’t have friends, she made sure she chose their course of study and did her best to make sure they excelled. Her testimony was that all her children are successful now.

In general they were trying to remove all the blame from the parents and put it on the late girl. They said if she were born again, she wouldn’t have considered suicide. That she didn’t value her life enough and she didn’t have dreams. This is a 16 year old they are talking about

They were telling these children that no matter how bad their parents are treating them now wasn’t up to what they experienced as children, hence they should be happy and know that there’s no parent no matter how bad that hates their child.

Some of these so called “counselors”, even said “how are we even sure she wasn’t even pregnant and didn’t want to tell anybody” or had done bad and didn’t want to tell anyone so she chose suicide and I’m thinking to myself, If that’s the case, isn’t that a huge problem in itself

The very annoying part was how they kept sounding it that the girl has just bought a one way ticket to hell just like that and that’s the reason they are even sad. They were telling the other teenagers that right now she’s is going to spend her eternity in hell.

And to end it all, one of the coordinators said “If you like go and buy sniper and drink just because your parents are being hard on you. It’s in a tiny bottle and they sell it in Ebeano”.

I know some of these might sound like things I made up but sad truth is I didn’t. I wept on my seat listening to these. There was no reference whatsoever to mental illness. NOTHING at all.

The funny thing is that these women will be so confident that their children would never attempt suicide. They really think they are doing everything right and their children aren’t “foolish” enough to want to kill themselves.

Our parents need a lot of education to be honest but as a more enlighten generation that we are, I urge you all to take the responsibility on yourself. Make sure you are talking to your younger ones. Show them that you care. Show them the love your parents aren’t showing them.

Be the one reason your siblings want to stay alive. Watch out for them, support them and love them unconditionally.

My sister is currently in school and she heard about the whole thing and we spoke briefly about it. She said why would a young girl like that think of killing herself? I explained a lot of things to her, then she admitted that she has felt that way too sometimes

But she just somehow comes to her senses and gets a hold of herself. I made her PROMISE me that if she ever feels that way again, she would talk to me.

To parents please be involved in your child’s life. If possible, be your child’s best friend. Don’t let culture and religion blind you. You are first human before any other thing. Show your children Immeasurable love, don’t make them go out to look for it.

From reading people’s responses, I can tell some people are fed up with churches in Nigeria. I understand how it can be but I need you to know that there are also good churches. You just need to find them. @citychurchlagos is one church I never regret attending.

I’d have dropped a SoundCloud link or YouTube channel but I’d rather do this.
I don’t like soliciting for anything on social media but my friend Bolu needs help. You can help by donating anything at all. It would go a long way no matter how small.
#HelpSaveNathaniel