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David Hines @hradzka
, 9 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
Putting on THE TWO JAKES, the sequel to CHINATOWN.

Yeah, there was a sequel to CHINATOWN.

By Robert Towne.

Jack Nicholson directed.
Think the Nicholson-directed THE TWO JAKES couldn't be any more of a vanity project? Jack was originally to square off against Robert Evans.
2010s movie stars have quit aging, but CHINATOWN (1974) Jack CHINATOWN vs. THE TWO JAKES (1990) Jack is like the autobahn vs. pothole alley.
Jack Nicholson is one of those actors who had a huge stretch where he couldn't figure out how to use his age at all.
So far THE TWO JAKES kind of feels like somebody tried to do a TV series pilot based on CHINATOWN.
Problem is: in 1990 Jack Nicholson isn't Jack Nicholson anymore. He's ***J A C K.*** And that means he's too big to play a small man.
The best part of this movie so far is a scene where you get to see James Hong and Jack playing off each other. They have lovely chemistry.
But THE TWO JAKES is far far too dependent on your memories of CHINATOWN, without which it is nothing.
Jack's tie may actually be wider than his shirt
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2016 and 2017. *stumble blearily downstairs and into the kitchen*
2016. "Whoa."
2017. "What the fuck?"
KITCHEN. *is organized and stocked with appliances*
2019, full den-mother mode. "Morning, boys! Coffee's ready. You slept in. Like, a day. Brunch in a bit!"
2017. "I love her."
2016. "Jesus Christ."
2017, staring reverently at mug. "Dude, this is amazing; her coffee is AMAZING"
2019. "While I'm taking care of this, could you guys give me a hand?"
2016. "uh"
2017. "YEAH!"
2019. "We just need a place to spread out and eat, and..." *indicates squalor*
2016. "You, uh. Want us to --"
2019. "Nothing much. Just -- '16, you slaughtered *so many* celebrities; you're so organized! And '17, you have such --" *pointedly overlooks 2017 doing a bump of cocaine* "-- such *energy.* I bet you two could sort those rooms right out."
Read 5 tweets
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I am now watching The Rock in SKYSCRAPER because after being sick as a dog for two days this is the limit of my intellectual capacity
I love how "blatantly obvious Asian cofinancing" is basically a genre now
The Rock's kids are going to a panda feeding

do pandas die horribly in this movie because if so I love it already
Read 18 tweets
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2018. *glares ferociously over duct tape gag and yards and yards and yards of rope fastening him securely to the couch*
2016. *sags*
2017. "We got him. We really got him. He is not gonna get away. I mean. Again."
2016. "That's it for you, '18. You're done."
DOOR. *knocks*
2016. *gulps*
2017. *gulps*
2016. "Get the door, will you?"
2017. "Nuh-uh. YOU get it."
DOOR. *knocks again*
2017. "Do we have to answer it? You know the rules, do we HAVE--"
2016. "Yes."
2017. *takes deep breath, holds out hand* "Together."
2016. *takes hand* "Together."
2016 and 2017. *approach door, awkwardly holding hands*
DOOR. *is clumsily nailed back together from 2018's explosive entrance*
2016 and 2017. *take deep breaths and open the door*
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