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Sarah Mei @sarahmei
, 5 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
This is a great thread about conflict styles in personal relationships. But it’s really important at work also.

Knowing which style someone is using when you’re having a technical disagreement with them is just HUGELY useful
The conflict style someone is using can be pretty hard to determine though. At least for me.

I remember the first time I realized that someone using the “competitive” style wasn’t always blustery and negative and insulting - sometimes they were super chipper & polite o_0
There’s a lot of nuance here - in knowing your own default style & capabilities, in recognizing other people’s, and in techniques for shifting yours & other people’s as necessary.

I kinda hope someone has written that book, because otherwise it’s like a book-length thread 😅
Not that I know everything about it. But this is not intuitive to me, and it doesn’t come naturally. So I’ve thought a lot about it & practiced quite a bit.
I’m avoidant by default, and I’ve actually had better success expanding my range at work than I’ve had expanding it in my personal relationships. The last few years I’ve worked to bring some of that learning home, so to speak, but that’s definitely more of a work in progress😬
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