unvaxed Profile picture
Sep 16, 2018 14 tweets 9 min read Read on X
When I was pregnant, I asked my #antivax parents to get the #whoopingcough #vaccine to protect their grandchild from it. They refused. We got in a big fight & there were lots of tears on both sides.
I told them that #whoopingcough can be deadly for infants & a person can be contagious with it before they show symptoms or know they have it.
I told them the CDC, AAP & my OBGYN recommended any caregiver in regular, close proximity to the baby should be #vaxxed against #whoopingcough. They also recommend the #flu shot, but I wasn't due in flu season and didn't want to have that fight too.
1 of my parents' #antivax arguments has always been that babies' immune systems can't handle so many #vaccines (false), so I thought they might #vax themselves to help protect the baby, but no.
They argued that they didn't want to "inject themselves with chemicals" & couldn't believe I was asking them to get #vaccinated.
They asked, wouldn't my baby be protected b/c of the #tdap #vaccine I got in the 3rd trimester? I said, yes, partially, but it would be even safer for baby to be surrounded & cocooned by people who were also #vaccinated. Better safe than sorry.
They told me I was being ridiculous. Was I going to ask everyone the baby came into contact with if they were #vaccinated? For strangers, no, but I didn't plan to let strangers hold/touch my baby. And I COULD ask strangers if they're #vaxxed, b/c what do I care if I offend them?
As for our friends, they're not #antivax. I bring up #vaccines in conversation regularly. I rant about Jenny McCarthy every New Years Eve. Our friends agree with me & trust science. Being #antivax might be a friendship dealbreaker on my end.
And I have no problem asking our friends if they're #vaccinated, because they all have kids & understand that I ask because I'm trying to protect my baby. #parenting #ittakesavillage
In the end, I couldn't convince my parents to get the #whoopingcough #vaccine & they said if that meant they couldn't come see the baby, they understood. But it's their first #grandchild & I didn't want to do that to them.
I talked to my OBGYN about protecting my baby from #whoopingcough, b/c my parents refused to #vaccinate. She said vaccinating is best, but if they won't, then wash hands & use hand sanitizer every time they hold the baby. And no contact if they feel even a little sick.
My parents agreed to that and even offered to wear masks around the baby.
People on #parenting message boards were very hardline about the issue. "No #vaccine, no visiting," they suggested. That's not helpful. My baby deserves #grandparents & aside from the #antivax thing, my parents are actually really great grandparents.
I'm glad my OBGYN was able to offer a safe solution, though she stressed that #vaccinating was still best. I'm not giving up on my parents. As long as they're still in my life, I can pass on fact-based science about #vaccines to them. Maybe by my 2nd kid, they'll be convinced.

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More from @unvaxed

Sep 30, 2020
#Parenting with #antivax parents: a thread.
When I was young, my antivax mom always told me that I would have to do my own research about #vaccines. When I grew up & my research led me to get myself vaccinated, she was upset.
The early conversations with my mom about my decision to get #vaxxed were difficult & emotional for us both. My mom felt like I was rejecting her. I felt betrayed.
Getting #vaccinated as an adult is an annoying & embarrassing process. I was ashamed to explain to doctors why I needed vaccines I should have gotten in childhood. I had to take time off work to get multiple doses of certain vaccines.
Read 12 tweets
Jun 21, 2019
It was hard, but I admitted to some friends this week that I was raised #unvaccinated. It's not the first time I've shared this info with people I know, but I do it rarely, because I'm still ashamed of it.
Their 1st question about being #unvaxed: But you're #vaccinated now, right? Yes, don't worry; I caught up on all my #vaccines.
2nd question about being #unvaxed: How did you go to school? With a #religious exemption! We were Lutheran, but #religion wasn't #antivax. We just used a religious exemption, because philosophical exemptions didn't exist in our state. This is common for #antivaxers.
Read 5 tweets
May 11, 2019
#Thread: Why are people #antivax? My mom's answer to "why?" has changed over time. When I was young, she told me that she was more worried about #vaccine side effects than she was about me catching a vax preventable disease (#VPD).
As I've asked her about the issue over time & pushed back against some of her beliefs, she's given me a lot of different answers:
false link to #autism;
"#toxins;"
fear that babies' immune systems aren't developed enough to handle so many shots at once;
"Big Pharma;"
VAERS;
etc
Overall, she had a gut feeling when she first became a #mom that #vaccines are scary & if anything happened to me because she vaccinated, she'd feel guilty.
Read 7 tweets
Apr 30, 2019
For her bday, my daughter got a Kiss Me I'm #Vaccinated shirt & a donation made to @sabinvaccine in her honor. Extra thanks to our friends for these gifts, because it was very satisfying to open them in front of my #antivax parents & have them not say a word. Image
I don't mean this spitefully. I make a point of keeping my parents informed about my daughter's #vaccines. She's had them all on schedule and done great. Last time, she had 4 shots for her 12 mo appointment & barely cried. She played happily the rest of the day, no big deal.
By sharing this with my parents & being vocal about #vaccines to friends & you internet strangers, I hope to combat the scary stories out there. It's not normal to share "We got #vaccinated and nothing happened, everything was fine," but we should share that.
Read 6 tweets
Oct 24, 2018
On a mom chat board recently an #antivax mom asked for #pediatrician recommendations near where I grew up. She wanted a doctor who would let her skip #vaccines. Someone recommended my old pediatrician. I had so many thoughts...
For starters, I wish #antivaxxers wouldn't look for #pediatricians who won't challenge their #vaccine stance. Your pediatrician should be a resource to talk through your fears & correct misinformation.
My #pediatrician got me through my childhood, so at a bare minimum, he did his job. I still can't help feeling like he was a bad doctor though. I mean, an #antivax #doctor must have misunderstood significant parts of medical school.
Read 6 tweets
Oct 22, 2018
I hear men (who are otherwise not #sexist) say, "I would be uncomfortable with a female doctor" & it makes me so mad, because it never occurred to me to choose a doctor based on #gender. Like, why have I put up with crappy male doctors all my life? #WomensHealth
To be fair, I've had good male doctors. General practitioners, OBGYNs, hematologists, neurologists. But when they're bad, it's almost exclusively because they are men and I'm a woman. #WomensHealth
One time, a male doctor misdiagnosed my kidney stone as mittelschmerz (pain during ovulation), because when a woman has pain in her side, it must be related to her lady parts. This was 10 years ago & I'm still bitter about it. #WomensHealth
Read 5 tweets

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