Did I ever tell you guys how bad I was at Red Dead Redemption because, my god, I was bad at Red Dead Redemption. I basically snowballed into having a nearly $2000 bounty on my head and couldn't go a half hour w/o a posse chasing me
I am not to be trusted in open world games. Pls believe me when I say I didn't intend to be a douchebag I just kinda kept...blundering into mistake after mistake ranging from "hey what happens if i shoot the oil lamp outside the general store" to "you've killed how many horses??"
I accidentally shot my horse in the head when hunting & a deer ran in front of me, i got attacked by a cougar, a guy stole my horse & I shot my horse before I shot him, I fell off a cliff, I fell off a cliff AGAIN while running from a posse cause I didn't swing my camera around
I couldn't make money because there was always a posse after me and any bounties I took on were negligible to my OWN bounty. I kept eating my horses. I kept trying to wound people chasing me and ended up killing them and ALL THEIR FRIENDS SAW.
I ACCIDENTALLY LIT SO MANY THINGS ON FIRE BECAUSE I HAD TERRIBLE AIM.
the best one tho was when I got a random event which was a dude who wanted me to save his friend from getting hanged. I RODE IN. READY FOR IT. SO PREPARED. I AIMED AT THE ROPE. I WAS GONNA DO IT!! I WAS GONNA FINALLY SUCCEED IN COWBOYNESS!!!
I missed the rope & shot the dude in the head.
...I just sorta went "welp" and rode off and that was the end of that quest.
honestly the only thing I did successfully in that game was lurk around the saloon and save prostitutes from getting stabbed which added to my stress levels in unimaginable ways. I was the dirty man who kept eating twigs and was CONSTANTLY ANXIOUS ABOUT THE PROSTITUTES
Also this one dude challenged me to a duel and it was my first duel and I got so engrossed reading the shootout instructions that I took too long and he shot me and when I reloaded I was so mad I found him again and beat him to death even tho HE DIDN'T CHALLENGE ME THIS TIME.
bounty level rises.
I also kept profiting off of the spoils of my accidental crimes because after the damage was done I was kinda like: "...i mean the damage IS DONE" so I'd end up looting and stealing too because in for a penny in for a pound, I guess?
I really want to know what the NPCs thought of this savage man running about in the desert ineffectively shooting into the air, eating his dead horses (who are dead b/c he accidentally killed them) and riding into town only long enough to save prostitutes before
they inevitably put a posse together to run him back out into the wilderness where this whole sad tale repeated itself. I literally can't tell you what the plot of that game was other than NAKED AND AFRAID AND ALSO KINDA A SERIAL KILLER?
you also can't swim in that game. I found that out the hard way.
DO YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW THE REAL CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS SHIT SUNDAE? The last mission I remember doing before quitting the game was Justice in Pike's Basin.
That's the fifth mission in the game.
I burned everything to the ground by the fifth mission in the game. I played that game enough to have conceivably beaten it. It's like a 30 hour game. I never got past the fifth mission cause I was too preoccupied with eating coyotes in the desert and crying on bushes.
I named my horses in my head after foodstuffs so they wouldn't have any doubts of how they'd end up by the way. I wanted to keep those expectations low for both of us. It was better this way.
R I P Butters, you were my favorite.
R I P Butters, you were my favorite.
There's been a lot of comments but I'm glad everyone is having a good laugh at this!! Thanks for reading my exploits as The West's Most Dangerous Man With A Rampant & Insatiable Desire For Misfortune, Shrubbery, and Horseflesh.
I leave you with this:
I chased a man for two in-game days straight to bring him in (alive) for a bounty. I tried to shoot his horse. Shot him in the head. I took $40 of my $2000 whatever bounty.
But his horse survived!!
I chased a man for two in-game days straight to bring him in (alive) for a bounty. I tried to shoot his horse. Shot him in the head. I took $40 of my $2000 whatever bounty.
But his horse survived!!
Good morning. Just so we're all aware I'm a lost cause in every universe: I played Outlast 2 very briefly about a week ago and, 2 minutes after the opening cinematic, I was told to head to the copter wreckage. I said "ok" and took the path of least resistance directly off a cliff
Fall damage is real and it doesn't care about you.
If this actually hits 2000 likes I'm gonna eat another horse.
