Thread by @alexdecampi

I’m exhausted and a little hung over and on my second pot of black coffee so my brain has decided to loop an action replay of my most profoundly embarrassing experience of 2018! Thanks, brain! Gather round, everyone else, and prepare to cringe.

Disclaimer: all identities in this are redacted (because I ain’t a lady, but I am in that neighbourhood) and I will probably delete this thread later tonight.

So I go for drinks one night with two gals who I’m not super close to, but I see a lot. We’ll call them Blonde and Redhead. They get drunk. For some reason, I do not. I later regret this immensely.

They begin to talk about a third person, a guy, who is kind of in our friends group and also who I see around a lot but who I don’t know at all. This guy is... let’s just say he’s very well known in his particular field.

Blonde launches into this tale of how he’s hitting on her, and she’s mocking him. (It was IN DETAIL, my sober brain remembers it all, but I’m not sharing)

It seems apparent from her story (to everyone other than her) that this guy is somewhat shy and awkward.

I try to nope out / steer the good ship Titanic away from the iceberg of Oversharing, by saying I don’t know this person and I’m uncomfortable with hearing all this.

I also point out that his actions might be because he’s shy, not because he’s (as she deems him) a fuckboy

So then Redhead starts in, about how he hadn’t hit on her but he told all his friends he liked her and yadda yadda and apparently it had taken him a year to get around to almost asking her out, and lol

And I’m like STOP CAN WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE

But then Blonde tells the story of how she finally shut him down like it was a mark of pride and it was so bad I’m banging my forehead on the table going “whyyyy would you do that, what did you think that would achieve, also please stop talking”

At that point I drop a $50 on the table and am like “bye I have to go let my dog out”.

But yeah, the extreme secondhand embarrassment of listening to two people brag about how shitty they were to a third person, I have never wished so hard that Star Trek was real, beam me tf up

I don’t see the two women any more. I still occasionally see the guy around, and every time I see him, I’m stage-whispering “please make better dating choices” in my head

Oh also I passed out in the supermarket from flu in February and they had to call an ambulance, that was super embarrassing too but tbh I was too sick and terrified to notice at the time.

Ugh, Blondie’s final line to this poor guy when she dunked him was “What, are you scared?!” And my brain just decided to remind me of that.