This is also why I can't trust Black people with few or no Black friends.
You should ask why anyone defaults to whiteness in their intimate relationships.
You should ask why anyone defaults to whiteness in their intimate relationships.
"I mean, my town had like 5 Black people"
"But I went to, ya know, a very white school"
"Well, I dont really feel accepted by Black people"
Yeah. I stopped believing those copouts a long time ago.
"But I went to, ya know, a very white school"
"Well, I dont really feel accepted by Black people"
Yeah. I stopped believing those copouts a long time ago.
Most of the "well my town/school was very white" people travel or live in places with higher Black demographics and STILL end up with white communities. Still.
"Im not accepted by Black people". But how would you know that if you just said you didnt have access to Black folks? At some point, we're gonna have to discuss how you find Black people pathologically "unaccepting". *leans in* Thats antiBlack.
"Black kids called me Oreo and told me I was white" And white kids called you a monkey and couldnt let you come over when their racist grandpa was home. Yet you still ended up with them as friends. Its only the Black people who are now disqualified from your life.
Hmm.
Hmm.
And now, you're an adult, content with being your white friends authority on race while holding onto anti-blackness of your own.
There can be other reasons, but an unspoken reason for your fault to whiteness in intimate relationships? Cause Black friends would force you to unpack stuff you not ready to face.
Black friends means you have to ask yourself how you really feel about us.
Not on theory.
Not in outrage when we get killed.
Intimate space with Black friends means you have to reconcile with LIVING BREATHING Black people in real life.
And you don't know how.
Not on theory.
Not in outrage when we get killed.
Intimate space with Black friends means you have to reconcile with LIVING BREATHING Black people in real life.
And you don't know how.
"I'd never let my white friends say the N word I love Black people"
Cool. Now ask deeper questions.
-Is there a pattern in my circles?
-Do I gravitate towards white people in diverse rooms?
-Do I get uncomfortable when I hear other Black people being loud in public places?
Cool. Now ask deeper questions.
-Is there a pattern in my circles?
-Do I gravitate towards white people in diverse rooms?
-Do I get uncomfortable when I hear other Black people being loud in public places?
TO RECAP: Black people "allowing" white people to say the N word is an extreme version of an issue I want Black folks to be more honest about. If you default to whiteness in friend/intimate relationships, ask why instead of rushing to defend yourself.
