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Whew. Boy. So, when I was in Ore. I started reporting a story on transracial adoption, specifically looking at w parents/b kids. You wouldn't believe some of the things that white parents told me. Or maybe you wld. I was shook. Realized was no way I cld be objective. I killed it.
I met a woman who breastfed her adopted black children as a form of reparations for when enslaved black women had to be wet nurses for white children. She used to post photos on her web site until she got a lot of backlash.
One white couple, who like almost all these parents, did not have any black friends or relationships with any black people, would arrange "black" time for their child by inviting other white parents of black adoptees for African-themed parties.
The kids were all American-born black kids but they would parade them in kente cloth outfits and make them do drumming. Almost all the white adoptive parents I met thought African culture was legitimate but they had to protect black kids from black American cultural influence.
White parents often did not bother to learn a single thing about how to care for black children's hair, somehow believed black children did not need to wash or comb their hair for months and would get offended when a concerned black person would try to instruct them.
One white family told legitimately told me, without a hint of irony or shame, that they'd adopted a black boy because her husband always wanted a son who would be a basketball player.
They would pretend to be "colorblind" while aggressively removing their children from any and all contact with black institutions, black movies, black books or other aspects of black culture.
When I asked if it were fair to the child to constantly force the child to be the only black person at school, at church, at gatherings, they would tell me that they did not go to black churches or programs and it would feel fake and insincere if they joined just for their child.
They believed they could make the children culturally white and simply overlook their skin color and the way the whole world would see them. They were most concerned about their racial comfort and had no concern for the discomfort and isolation their children would feel.
And, yes, they thought the black people who showed concern, who offered to help them navigate the racial reality of America, or passed along info about black hair salons, or suggested black churches or cultural events were the real racists.
So, yeah, I decided I could not write the story and be fair, because being fair meant I would have trashed their entire existence.
Oh, and did you know that many private adoption agencies let you choose the acceptable percent of blackness in the child you will accept. Part of the application lets you select if you'll take a fully black child, half black or just a quarter black.
Black children are always rated the least desirable. They often go to the white parents who are the most desperate, who haven't been able to get any of their other choices. So, yeah.
Many Asian adoptees have had similar experiences. I interviewed some as well. They were part of a group known as Angry Korean Adoptees.
