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Huge +1 to peer-mentors. People get so hung up on finding a mentor they can "look up to", when most wisdom comes from others doing the job in the trenches, right now. And good relationships are ALWAYS bidirectional.
(I'm always really weirded out when one of my friends accuses me of mentoring them. If I'm hanging out with you, you're my friend, and I get PLENTY back from you: trust me.)
Maybe this is my inner anarchist talking. But I believe it's way more empowering to cast yourselves as peers rather than mentors & mentees, because it reminds you that you have something to give as well as receive.
And if you are approaching someone for help or advice and you genuinely have nothing to offer or give, consider if they are really the right person to ask.
Like, are you asking Steve Jobs for help when you should be asking the lab manager...or googling it?
Like, are you asking Steve Jobs for help when you should be asking the lab manager...or googling it?
The only times I have gotten seriously irked at randos asking me things are when they DM me like, "how can I get an SRE job" or "what is observability" type questions. lol
... ok not true, i have also gotten irked at ppl like @paulcoyne73 who:
a) tweetstormed me with (dumb) criticism of my test in prod piece
b) told me i "best not publish" my views after i declined to defend them
c) began harassing my editors and publishers
a) tweetstormed me with (dumb) criticism of my test in prod piece
b) told me i "best not publish" my views after i declined to defend them
c) began harassing my editors and publishers
to be fair i did say this to him, but this reply was honestly meant as a kindness, to tell him why and how he was out of bounds with his demands. (he has deleted a ton of earlier tweets, btw)
still kinda proud of "dickgar" tbh
still kinda proud of "dickgar" tbh
i wouldn't normally name and shame like this, but this guy has been harassing these perfectly nice and innocent folks for DAYS now, in email and on twitter, and needs to Lay. The Fuck. Off. jesus.
(relatedly ... if he thinks what *I* said was abusive, I would like to see him deal with the shit I get any old day on the internet. 🤨 Maybe boys are just too sensitive and emotional to use the internet. It's like they live in padded cells from birth, you know? Poor dears.)
