, 7 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
No pet is cuter than any other pet.

I defy you to prove me wrong.

Let the pet pictures commence.
A wise man once said:

“There is a very fine line between just drunk enough and waking up in the neighbor’s grass unable to even smell tequila again.”

What liquor is dead to you?
I almost burned down my grandparent’s house making toast.

I blew off my eyebrows trying to light a gas oven.

I made a cake recipe calling for 3/4 cup of water... but added 3-4 cups instead.

What was your worst cooking fail?
Shifting gears to foreign policy.

If you won a free trip to anywhere in the world, where would you go?

If you had to move and could relocate to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Live-ignoring the SOTU moves on to economics.

Someone offers to give you $1,000 to spend any way you like.

But there’s a catch.

You can’t spend it on possessions; you can only spend it on experiences. Doing things not buying things.

What would you do with the 💵?
Perhaps our last topic before the bloviating f***apotamus wraps up his last State of the Union. Yes. I said last.

What famous or notable person would you:

Love to know in real life?

Go out drinking with?

Banish to a remote island?
Since the Ludicrous Popinjay won’t STFU, a final query.

If an anonymous horse avatar’ed Twitter person happened to be passing through town and stopped by:

How comfortable is your sofa and does it pull out?

How are you fixin’ for snacks?

How’s the beer/beverage inventory?
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