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0/ The seven stages of $tsla employment. For outside professionals hired into Tesla who are over the age of 30 and have real business experience, this seems to take 30-90 days to complete, but YMMV. @teslacharts @ElonBachman
1/ Disbelief: "Wow, this is such a great opportunity to work with the brilliant Elon Musk and work for a company with a real mission to help humanity. And look at all these options I have prices at just $320 -- and Catherine Wood says its going to $4000!"
2/ Denial: "There is a lot of weird stuff here but this is probably typical of a fast-growing startup on a sacred mission. They are making innocent mistakes in their rush to market. Anyway, that's what they hired me for, to clean this stuff up!"
3/ Shock & Anger: "Elon, this is NOTHING like what you described when you hired me -- this place is a real mess! We are all going to jail if we don't fix this stuff RIGHT NOW"
4/ Bargaining: "Elon, if you just will let my staff look at your tweets in advance and if we can get some of these numbers cleaned upl, I can help you avoid a real disaster. Please, let's work together right now on ... wait, you have to leave on your Gulfstream again?"
5/ Depression & Guilt: "Oh my God I have screwed up. What an idiot I am for buying Elon's BS. The Feds are going to be at our door any minute and my wife is going to get the Fastow treatment."
6/ Working Through: "Hey, wait a minute. Outsiders still seem to be blinded by Elon's BS. The SEC seems to be asleep. I can probably survive this... I think I still have that Heidrick and Struggles business card in my wallet...
7/ Acceptance & Hope: "I am leaving Tesla today to spend more time with my family. Home is where the heart is."
