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"We all have imperfections deep down inside; some of us are just better at hiding it than others... this performance of niceness, I never trust. More healthy when we acknowledge that parts of ourselves. Maturity is knowing when it release that, when not to." @rgay #onairfest
Hilarious: @debbiemillman tells @rgay was "terrified" of her stature, twitter, etc before mtg her. "I never feel strong," says Gay. How I remember myself is diff from how other ppl remember me." Also, does surviving=strength? #onairfest
.@rgay: Why do I get uncomfortable to consider self strong, brave? I think we project bravery when others do things we can't. Resilience plays into strength. Strong=way in which you survive, endure. Boldly or not? Abt self-awareness, ability to acknowledge mistakes, failures.
(Cont'd) I can do a lot, but am deeply afraid of failure. I'll be strong when I can better handle #failure: @rgay #onairfest
.@rgay Reading provides escape or solace. Dont feel lonely when reading. Just read memoir "how we fight for our lives" by #saeedjones to deal w delayed flight... reading showed me language for sexual abuse I'd been through. #onairfest
.@rgay Hard to decide you deserve better, tendency, love, mutuality. Laziness was dating assholes bc didnt think I deserved more. Broke pattern when turned 40. Women can be assholes just like men. But older->don't want to feel terrible, can be alone. #onairfest
.@rgay Am braver on twitter bc enough sht in life. Your bad day is not my problem so don't make it my problem. Like them putting themselves on stick at Tball. "Oh, this woman believes women are ppl. I have something to say abt that." If you clap, I will clap back. #onairfest
.@rgay: I also like complaining. I get it from my mother. No need to hide envy, etc. Gamechanger was writing career taking off, got tenure... own who I am & i have desires. #onairfest
.@rgay: It's terrifying to tell the truth abt yourself, your body. Feel it is hateful, hideous... shaped by misogyny, fatphobia. Can both speak against it while internalizing it. #onairfest
#Bodyshaming can be so internalized. 'Lose weight & pissed when ppl congratulate me but also when they don't! The more weight lost, the more defensive of being fat I get': @rgay #onairfest
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