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In 1990, McDonald's produced an animated anti-drug PSA that brought together ALF, Garfield, TMNT, Ducktales, The Smurfs, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Muppet Babies, Slimer, The Chipmunks for the most ambitious crossover event in history. 
Simulcast on all four major American networks, plus 11 other cable networks, it aired the day before my 13th birthday in 1990, but somehow, I've never heard of it until today. I watched it, and now I'm going to share my pain. I'll let the president and his wife set it up.
The story follows a 14-year-old boy named Michael, whose addiction to marijuana leads him to steal from his family and get tempted by harder drugs. It's like a low-budget Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but about how smoking weed will destroy your life and everyone you know.
The New York Times reported that then-Senator @JoeBiden called it "the single most ambitious and important drug education program ever attempted anywhere." What.
Pretty sure it's the only time you'll ever hear the Chipmunks and ALF chatting about weed. Simon is such a square.
If your little sister gets suspicious, Garfield has a pair of sunglasses you can use to cover up your red-eye.
It's such a random assortment of brands and properties, it feels like cultural whiplash.
I always suspected Bugs enjoyed the occasional jazz cigarette in the '40s.
Wow, Bugs Bunny is a huge asshole. (To be fair, Mel Blanc died shortly before production. This was the first time Bugs was voiced by anyone else.)
Like weed? Then you'll love CRACK! And this fashionable teen girl knows just where to find it, at a very fair price of $10. (No babies allowed!)
Of all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Michelangelo is the least believable to be lecturing anyone about drugs. Wasn't the whole character based on the pizza-loving Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High?
After a nightmarish roller coaster ride through a brain on drugs, The Muppet Babies get a contact high and abandon Michael inside his own brain.
"Now I'm seeing ducks!? I gotta get off of these drugs!"
"Wonderful Ways to Say No," the special's musical ensemble number, was written by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken at the peak of their creative careers, literally right between the soundtracks for The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast.
Think you can quit any time? ALF says you're wrong.
Finally, the special builds to this "scare 'em straight" moment with Daffy Duck showing Michael's future as a twitching strung-out zombie, surrounded by all his cartoon friends.
Michael realizes the error of his ways just in time, just as his little sister finds his drug stash. He tosses Smoke (the literal personification of drugs) out the window, hugs his sister, and goes to talk to his parents, thanks to this bizarre moment of corporate cooperation.
Special thanks to McDonald's for teaching us the dangers of marijuana, amuch more dangerous activity with far greater long-term repercussions for public health than, say, fast food production.
