Thread by @SamSykesSwears

what if the real twist is that all this time Thanos had a fatal weakness to arrows

*twang!*
“OW! FUCK! Man, that stings! Wait no don’t shoot another—“
*twang*
“ARGH! STOP! That’s really dangerous! You could put someone’s—“
*twang*
“AAAAAAAAHHHH MY EYE WHAT DID I JUST SAY”

“Thanos? What’s going on? The pizza’s here and—“
“ERIC! GET BACK IN THE HOUSE! THEY’VE GOT ARROWS!”
“Huh?”
*twang*
“AAAAAAAUUUGH! MY EYE!”
“HE GOES FOR THE EYES, ERIC! GET THE SAFETY GOGGLES!”

thanos has a roommate named Eric

“Thanos? What are you doing over there?”
“THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU, MAVIS”
“If you’re having a party, you have to clear it with the HOA.”
“WE AREN’T HAVING A PARTY, MAVIS.”
*twang*
“AUGH! HE SHOT ME IN THE LEG!”
“If he’s shooting you in the leg, you need to clear it with the HOA”

thanos has a neighbor named Mavis

“Hey there, thanos! Gettin shot with arrows?”
“TIM! CALL FOR BACKUP! I’M SLOWLY DYING!”
“aw jeez, Than the Man, you know I always leave my phone at home when I walk Scout”
*twang*
“AAAAARRRGH GOD DAMN YOU TIM”
“yeah I don’t blame you for bein cross, that looks SUPER painful”

I don’t know how this became Thanos getting attacked in a suburban neighborhood but now it’s canon and we all have to live with it