Thread by @MBlacktrib3

THE FIRST TIME.

Back then in the university, Bayo a virgin had this friend called Elvis who was a public penis. They met in their first year and until his third year when Elvis almost ruined Bayo’s life, he remained a virgin.

A THREAD.

They were in school one cool afternoon when the demon in Elvis decided it was time to expand its franchise.

Elvis

“See fresh babes everywhere on campus, different flavors with different fine packages but no, you won't see them because you find only your right hand sexy.”

What's that supposed to mean? Bayo quickly replied in shock.

Elvis

You think I haven't figured out eh? Your history is always clean and your palm constantly smells of your body lotion, even on Saturdays when we all know you don't take your bath.

Bayo fell into a more severe shock and embarrassment. He immediately turned around in a frantic manner to see if anyone was listening to the conversation, especially his church members as he was a church leader.

[stammering]

I.. still don't understand you oh.

Elvis (Sarcastic)

You won't.

Enjoy the real thing and stop suffering your penis with that sandpaper palm of yours.

Elvis turns around and quickly calls Bayo attention to one very sexy girl in his own department. Before he could turn his head to that direction, the girl was already out of site.

“ I didn't see her.”

Elvis draws out his phone from his pocket and launches his Twitter app. “Her name is falilat, she's in 100level. Na jjc, you fit arrange am sharp sharp, I know say you dull, this one won't give you any problem.”

If only Bayo had known, he would have refused that offer and continued his relationship with his hand but when problem wants you, I guess there's no escaping.

He checked out her media and saw most of her pictures
“The girl fine sha oh, you fit help me with her contact?”

Elvis [the serpent in the garden]

My man!! Now you're talking! I'll send you her handle, it's at.falilat but incase you forget, it'll be in your DM from me.

On the spot right there, Bayo launched his Twitter app and DM’d this babe, guess she wasn't busy as he got a reply immediately. He thought to himself, a naija babe can reply immediately? His penis was already getting excited, this is a good sign.

[School, day]
Elvis rushes to school when he learns that results for the previous semester has been released only to find out that he'd be carrying over 5 courses out of 9. His eyes went wet as he found a place to sit under the tree and sadness was all over his face.

Bayo
Hwpha guy, you don't look so good.

Elvis
Nah, I'm good bruv. Na hunger dai do me. Let's go and buy the ultimate bread and beans jare, I'll be fine after that.

The next few days saw Bayo and Falilat getting real close. They both eventually fixed a date and damn, this babe was completely complete. Her boobs were wonderfully and carefully made and since it was at night, she ditched her bra so the nipples were pointing right at him.

He had never had sex before, and he suffers from anxiety. Both didn't help his situation as his penis thought that was the best time to salute hi. Bayo started adjusting my shorts but for where, his penis kept rebelling against him, small Bayo was having a standing ovation.

She asked if he was comfortable and he nodded without hesitation like a person who had a seizure .

They were both in front of her hostel off-campus and it was past 8pm when the rain started. She asked him to come inside her room so they wouldn't get wet but his smaller brain had a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight gonna be a good good night”

Both got in and the rain continued till it was past ten. She offered him hot thick tea, not the colored hot water he has been drinking in his room since. He was never a fan of drinking hot tea but he couldn't tell her cause he was forming hard guy until he burnt his entire tongue

That wasn't compared to the pain he was feeling down there. He forced his penis under his lap and sat on it gently but it felt like it was going to break the next minute. It was getting late and he needed to leave but the problem was that, he couldn't get up cause of junior

“it's getting really late, won't you leave now so you don't walk in the middle of the night, I don't want anything to happen to you oh”

Those were not the words Bayo wanted to hear. Not at all. A part of bayo was already thinking she'd ask him to spend the night. But the real problem was what was under his lap. How was he going to get up without her noticing.

His eyes and his extremely wild imagination wasn't even helping matters. Her nipples were in his face and the fresh laps revealed by her mini skirt enticed his hungry horny eyes. She was already standing, waiting for him to get up and at that point, bayo knew he had to get up.

The room was a little bit dark and the only light was the one coming from her phone torchlight. So he got up, backing the light and lo and behold, Nepa brought the light.

Bayo (thoughts)
Ah! After rain!? Won't these people dry their wires.

Bayo couldn't force it to hide as junior was stronger than olumo rock already.

She noticed it and the shock on her face almost buried him in shame. Bayo thought of covering the bulge with his hand but that would have been more embarrassing so he stood there as she stared.

The next words that came out of her mouth distributed happiness to every part of his body.

“You want to have sex with me?

Bayo had another seizure to my head as he nodded like a hundred times under 1 second.

She walked towards him and pulls out junior from his shorts whilst lifting her skirt with her other hand. Bayo was in paradise and on his way to hell at the same time. He had never felt this way with his hands before.

As an amateur, bayo had no idea what to do exactly, so she dragged him over to her bed and fixed his penis inside of her.

After about 11 seconds of intense penising, bayo was shaking like a fish on dry land. His legs became weak, his lips far apart and vibrating from pleasure and his body becoming stiff. His breath was heavy and he was moaning loudly and in tears

His entire body vibrated and within that few seconds, bayi entered paradise and walked on gold until he noticed the irritated face that was staring up at him.

“what's the meaning of what just happened? Just leave, now.

His body was still very weak but he managed in shame to get up from her bed and dragged himself outside. “See how you've embarrassed your family” he thought to himself.

For the next two weeks, bayo avoided Falilat and Elvis who wanted to hear about their progress. Baba had no idea bayo already broke a record. Whenever bayo sees her coming in a distance, he'd take the next exit until a few days to the commencement of exams when wahala arise

[Day, Library]
Bayo’s phone rang in the library. The librarian noticed he was the one and chased him out of the library, suspending him for the two weeks. Exams would next start tomorrow and bayo won't be able to enter the library to read again. Ah!

He stepped outside after vain begging like a homeless man and answered the phone that was ringing for the fifth time.

His anger didn't even allow him check who was calling and the next thing he heard was Falilat’s voice. While trying to figure out why she'd be calling, she turned his whole world more down south.

“Bayo, I'm pregnant”

11 seconds, pregnant, how? He didn't say those words out.

How come? was what he said out. How come? She repeated in anger. When you decided to have sex with me without protection and still ejaculated inside of me, you had no idea what the repercussion would be.

[In my head]
How's this my fault? She asked if I wanted to have sex na, or she thinks I wore a condom on my penis to her house?

Till he finished his exams, he wasn't himself. It was only God that helped him if not, all the courses that semester might have just been repeated. Food had no taste in his mouth again, he couldn't read for more than 2 minutes without thinking of how they'll disown him at home

On the last day of his exam, after dividing the 3k he gets from home weekly to share with her for absolutely nothing for two whole weeks; bayo was that caring or just stupid, she called him to tell me that she has finally seen her period

Bayo was happy that he cried, not minding the nonsense he wrote in all his papers. On that very day, bayo vowed never to have sex again until he gets married. Just after making the vow, Elvis approached him with excitement. He pointed to the direction of one girl: “her name is...

Bayo
I rebuke you in the name of Jesus, the First of His Name, King of the Earth and all men, Protector of the Universe , the son of God, the ruler of all Great Seas, the Undead, the Breaker of Chains and restorer of salvation.

[Few days later]
Bayo receives a call from one of Elvis’ coursemates. “Bayo, you need to rush down to the clinic right now!

After about 25 minutes, Bayo arrives at the clinic and finds Elvis almost dead. He couldn't wrap his head around it as there was no visible injury.

“what happened” he asked the person standing close the bed where Elvis was lying, almost unconscious. The person was falilat! He had the three humans that almost ruined in his life in one place, one was dying, the other was crying and he was confused.

Falilat (sobbing)
He drank a whole bottle of poison.
He wanted to commit suicide.

Bayo (Shocked)
He drank what?! Sniper?
Why!!!?

Falilat
No, not sniper.

Bayo then finds out that Elvis had been depressed since 200 level after he saw his results but didn't want to tell anyone, so he hid his pain until he was told by his HOD that no matter what happens between this semester and his final year, he'd definitely have an Extra year.

Elvis survived but Bayo learnt something important. He learnt that people sometimes wear happiness on their faces to cover the pain that was eating them from deep within, and he vowed to look beyond the happy smile for now on so things like this won't repeat itself

The End.

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