Thread by @aaron_turon

I've been exploring the Enneagram for self-understanding and growth. My type is "five": The Observer (enneagraminstitute.com/type-5).

"Fives feel [they can't] do things as well as others. But rather than engage directly with activities that might bolster their confidence, ...

... Fives 'take a step back' into their minds where they feel more capable. Their belief is that from the safety of their minds, they will eventually figure out how to do things—and one day rejoin the world."

Oooof. Just @ me next time.

When I read that "Edward Scissorhands perfectly describes the inner emotional life of a Five" I HAD to go watch it.

When Peg first visits Edward's castle (i.e. his mind), she first sees his elaborate garden, and I lost my shit.

A bit on the nose 😅 (the first pic is mine).

Each Enneagram type aligns with a "passion". Fives align with Stinginess, which at first seemed as unlike me as possible.

But it's about your inner life: "Fives feel they lack inner resources and that too much interaction with others will lead to catastrophic depletion."

Fives minimize their needs and their footprint in the world. My mind is enough—it contains vast riches. I can hoard knowledge. I am MADE of knowledge. I don't need anything else.

When we first meet Edward, we see the deep poverty hidden behind his exuberant gardening.

He never once asks anything of anyone, nor does he have any awareness of his needs. Though he knows his creator didn't "finish" him (he's missing something everyone else has), he's resigned to this fate.

Edward is a sweet, gentle child. When Peg brings him down from the castle (from his mind to the "real world"), he is filled with naive delight because he gets to be part of the world, even if that world is the most bland suburb imaginable.

It's immediately obvious how little "real-world" experience he has, and how literal-minded and trusting he is. He tries very hard and very genuinely, but he's hopelessly clumsy and clueless about everyday life.

Initially, the people he meets see him as endearing and helpless, and they patiently help try to fill in his glaring gaps. He is quietly grateful for it all.

Then he happens to encounter a situation where he can apply his deep expertise and sensitivity: helping prune the hedges at Peg's home. Echoing the importance that Peg places on her family, he sculpts a portrait of it.

He takes great satisfaction from the sense of being USEFUL he gets from this work. His engagement with the world alternates between extreme ineptness and extreme brilliance. In his creative work he can reveal his true self, with an exhilarating feeling of competence.

In contrast, Edward is easily overwhelmed by situations he feels he doesn't understand. You can sense his deep anxiety and "freeze" panic response. Depp's acting on this front hit me viscerally.

Gradually he finds a number of ways to connect with the world through his unique skills: gardening, hair styling, pet grooming, ice sculpting. He combines exuberance and whimsy with a deep perceptiveness, with each haircut capturing the essence of his client's personality.

His work brings him great joy and connection, a way of being in the world that does not involve others compensating for his ineptness and gaps.

He never elicits pride, self-interest, or a personal agenda in his work; he operates with a child-like purity.

The thing is, the people around him work from a very different set of motivations that are incomprehensible to him, which leaves him very vulnerable to manipulation and being used.

This is where the sobbing started for me; I've spent my life in exactly this way, letting other people's motivations drive my efforts and expression of talents. I have been taken advantage of, repeatedly though usually not intentionally.

I started working full-time as a programmer at *12*, and continued there for almost ten years, being paid around $10/hour. I experienced burnout at *14* (when I was still driven to work in a taxi, since I couldn't drive). But the company relied on me, and I couldn't escape.

Later I repeatedly let people tell me that my talents and potential created an obligation for me. "You will do great things." When I first tried to escape the intense stress of an academic career, I was told that doing so "would be a immense disservice to science."

Ultimately, Edward's inability to discern how people are manipulating and using him gets him into deep trouble. The movie ends tragically, with him retreating back to his castle, cut off from people, though still quite busy with his creations.

I hope my story ends differently.

In any case, I was deeply moved by this film, and am grateful for the lens of the Enneagram in understanding what drives and blinds me.

If you are curious to learn more, a great entry point is @hannahpaasch's new book, #Millenneagram.

~fin~

Oh and also, my actual gardening work happens in an intense fugue state that closely matches the depiction in the film. Stand back, look and mull, then jump in and make the world match what’s in your head.