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literally if you base your entire knowledge on the ddlg community from tumblr... no shit you think it’s an abusive kink.
straight up saw someone argue that if you experienced sexual abuse as a child your positive experience in ddlg is invalid bc “go to therapy.” but also their argument against ddlg was their own trauma in the community. so trauma invalidates your opinion unless it helps ur case??
bro i get it’s weird and it absolutely is easily utilized to cover abusive behaviors, especially in a society where we cant tell the difference between safe & consensual play vs. abuse so we just say the whole damn thing is bad to begin with. but that is not how you stop abusers+
in the community. people are going to be drawn to this kink of all backgrounds/identities/ages and if they are exposed to the notion that ddlg is just fetishizing children & that’s exactly what everyone in this massive community believes... ur doing more harm than good.
we really need to expose people to the actual, safe, and non-abusive side of ddlg. casting it as an abusive kink will only draw in more abusers instead of letting the abusers know we SEE that predatory behavior because it is NOT ddlg and they can NOT hide here.
ddlg is wanting to be or be with an adult who has the need for a caretaker/guardian/paternal(or maternal) figure even as an adult bc it takes that much trust to make yourself that insanely (and embarrassingly) vulnerable when you and your partner are both are whole ass adults.
when we think of caretaker we think of parent/child. That does not mean ddlg at all is founded upon the attraction to someone’s father or someone’s daughter. Can an abuser use ddlg as an excuse for their attraction to children or incest? yes. is that ddlg tho? no.
lots of littles in the ddlg community dress up cute and tend to promote themselves as “looking little.” i understand how that might be considered fetishizing children. but as the trend of “baby” tends to be taking hold of mainstream fashion and terminology, idk if ddlg is the
inventors of the concept of liking to feel precious and cute and innocent. again, a lot of the time we see this and the cutest, most precious and innocent human thing we can think of is a child. is everyone who dresses like a lolita pastel baby queen fetishizing children?
now onto the concepts of binkies, diapers, etc. None of this would be ddlg if you were not an adult. Why would diapering be embarrassing? Why would it be weird? Why would it even be kinky? It’s cause ur literally an adult putting on a fucking diaper to piss in bc u have
allowed yourself to resort into such a state of desperate need of assistance and care in front of your dom/me. it’s the FACT you are an ADULT that makes it feel the way it does, it’s the fact both of you are aware you don’t actually need this caregiving that makes it truly kinky.
If you are fetishizing children or are with your partner because it’s the closest you’ll ever get to your pedophilia urges or are using ddlg as therapy for your trauma, you are in the wrong space. if you literally think ddlg is hot cause u want to fuck kids, fuck YOU.
ddlg is totally a valid place for trauma victims who do not use it to heal themselves. it CERTAINLY can help establish a friendly association with your nostalgia as a child and it CERTAINLY can help you feel safer with your partners. and you are VALID in ur positive experience.
sure we are all fucking weirdos and freaks. some of us put diapers on and our mommies piss in our mouth. some of us just like to be cute, submissive, and taken care of. There’s so many levels to this kink. wanting to be in this kink for any other reason other than you think +
it’s hot, comforting, preferable, whatever to see or be an adult in such a dependent, embarrassing, vulnerable, and/or utterly immature state of mind is not ddlg. the attraction to younger women and older men was not invented by ddlg. nor is every ddlg relationship about
the age difference (bc if it is... its most likely abusive and fetishizing your age. not ddlg. however i imagine there are a handful of ddlg relationships with not too dramatic of age differences that are healthy). In my personal relationship, im older, i literally can go to bars
and my daddy says at home playing video games bc he’s too young D: basically, it is VERY easy to spot abusive players vs. real players if you are well aware of what it is YOU and THEY are looking for from this community. i can tell u that at least i can tell quite quickly who
likes me bc they literally think im underage vs. who likes me bc im literally ADORABLE and somehow also extremely smart/experienced (of course u want me as ur little, why wouldn’t u be tempted for me to cling to you dependently when im so charming).
the community loves to use terminology like “little” “bigs” “babies” and “middles.” i also can see how this fetishizes children but i am pretty sure the point of these terms is to very clearly establish we are all adults here, just some of us are smol and some are bigger smols.
it’s all about establishing that connection of “hello i am small and in need of care and am v dumb and v immature” to “hello i am small but i don’t like to be seen as dumb n immature so i am big but am smol 4 my daddy.” these terms just exist purely for hierarchy establishment.
sorry the thread is so long but i just understand this community really needs to hammer down on the abusers and the first way to do that is to really solidify what ddlg is at the core rather than the tumblr version of “i wanna fuck u cuz u look young.” call these people OUT.
