Thread by @EsotericCD

Mrsoteric out of town, kid refusing to sleep...time to introduce The Bopper to one Mr. Indiana Jones.

The most important lesson I ever learned from RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: never trust monkeys. The double-agents of the animal kingdom.

I find it very hard to separate my lifelong love of RAIDERS (the first truly 'epic' film I can remember watching, even before STAR WARS) with its objective quality. My wife didn't particularly care for it when she finally saw it (in 2008). But every second gives me pleasure.

The problem w/TEMPLE OF DOOM is twofold: 1) Willie is just unbearable as a character. Kate Capshaw seems like a perfectly cromulent actress, it's just a completely unrewarding, intensely grating role. The LINES are terrible and off-key; 2) that f*****g bug scene. Can't watch it.

Otherwise, I do very much like how nasty and mean-spirited it is. Child slavery! Human sacrifice! Chilled monkey brains!

Oh, and that little prick the Raj is one of the very few times I can remember where I ever cheered at the idea of a small child getting the crap beaten out of him. He frankly didn't get what he really deserved.

The minecart chase sequence really is one of the most brilliantly executed action sequences in all of movie history. And it looks so much better than digital effects ever would have.

But love the Chinese/Broadway/screwball opening sequence nearly as much. Comedy that works.

Bopper is enjoying INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE the most of them all so far, and who can blame him. It's actually kind of strange how this got mixed reviews when it first came out. Can totally understand why some people think it's the best of them all.

The action setpieces are all fantastic, yes, but beyond that the relationship between Indy and his father (and the chemistry btw Harrison Ford and Sean Connery) is pretty priceless. Can't beat the dialogue, which was all written by an (uncredited) Tom Stoppard.

I do have to say that Indy's complete disrespect for priceless historical artifacts reaches all new levels of appallingness here. I love the catacombs scene but I also cringe endlessly at the way he just wantonly desecrates tombs.

One other minor gripe about LAST CRUSADE is that I wish it hadn't turned Marcus Brody and Sallah (who were truly interesting minor characters in RAIDERS) into buffoonish comic relief. They were both extremely competent men in the first film. Here, they're goofy bumblers.

That said, I don't mind too much b/c they're given a lot of screentime in LAST CRUSADE, and we are all enriched for being able to spend more time watching Denholm Elliott and John Rhys-Davies. Also, the funniest single moment in the franchise's history:

As for INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL...gosh, that's a shame.

Here's a hottake for you: the best thing about CRYSTAL SKULL is...Shia LeBeouf. He's a good actor! He's obviously a messed-up weirdo in real life, but he does a fine job with the role, and actually makes it better than the (terrible, really) writing by his physical presence.

There are too many things to complain about CRYSTAL SKULL to bother with, so I'll just note two, one niggling and one serious: the minor niggling one is where, because Hollywood Values, they don't let Indy echo his "Nazis, I hate these guys" with a "Commies, I hate these guys."

But whatever, that's nothing important. What the real problem with CRYSTAL SKULL (aside from the uninspired script) is the reliance on CG instead of real in-camera stunt-work and FX. Because here's the thing about all the Indiana Jones films: OF COURSE WE KNOW THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.

The thrill of the first 3 Indy films was seeing most of this insane effin' stuntwork done ACTUALLY ON-SCREEN. Nobody would ever actually survive the RAIDERS truck sequence. We know this, as viewers. The thrill is seeing it brought to life in the movies. Same w/tank in CRUSADE.

But when you see your heroes swinging on CG vines accompanied by CG monkeys, or being blown out of a CG fridge in a CG nuclear test detonation, you have long since been conditioned to Not Care. Nobody did anything impressive here. It's just underpaid nerds sitting at computers.