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, 8 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Dude next to me on this plane has been nonstop farting. It reeks; I cannot breathe. By the way, I know it’s him because these farts are also LOUD; he gives zero fucks. It’s illegal for me to vape on here, but THIS is allowed? I demand answers. @FAANews @realDonaldTrump
It both sounds and smells like a mouse is dying in his pants
Don’t even get me started on his environmental footprint @AOC
Yo OK update
Now that I have service again I just want to say that I did in fact break the law and take a rip of the Juul at some point during the flight (hi, @FAANews, feel free to arrest me, I’m in Philly!) and Fart Dude HAD THE NERVE TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I WAS RUDE!!!
I just told him to his face
He looked me dead in the eyes and farted again. At what point can a human be considered a chemical weapon @CIA @FBI
Anyway everyone watch @GregGutfeldShow it’s on in 3 mins
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