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Kat Timpf
@KatTimpf
, 8 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Dude next to me on this plane has been nonstop farting. It reeks; I cannot breathe. By the way, I know it’s him because these farts are also LOUD; he gives zero fucks. It’s illegal for me to vape on here, but THIS is allowed? I demand answers. @FAANews @realDonaldTrump
It both sounds and smells like a mouse is dying in his pants
Don’t even get me started on his environmental footprint @AOC
Yo OK update
Now that I have service again I just want to say that I did in fact break the law and take a rip of the Juul at some point during the flight (hi, @FAANews, feel free to arrest me, I’m in Philly!) and Fart Dude HAD THE NERVE TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I WAS RUDE!!!
I just told him to his face
He looked me dead in the eyes and farted again. At what point can a human be considered a chemical weapon @CIA @FBI
Anyway everyone watch @GregGutfeldShow it’s on in 3 mins
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More from @KatTimpf see all

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Kat Timpf
@KatTimpf
Literally do not understand what motivates people to write mean things to people they see on TV on the Internet. Why? Why take the time to look someone up and try and insult them the worst you can? That brings you joy?
I have had my worst insecurities magnified by people who have never met me commenting on my Instagram photos. I’ve been through hell in my life, they don’t know that, nor do they care to know. Who are these people? And why are there so many of them?
This is why I don’t read Instagram comments anymore. I feel bad because I want to engage with people who are being positive. I just don’t understand. What motivates this? Anyway G2G dance to @themisfits and live my life. But remember...
Read 4 tweets

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Ms. Entropy / سيدة الفتنة
@MsEntropy
No, given: 1) the special US-KSA alliance established in the 40s, and more importantly, 2) Trump’s deep financial ties to Saudi Arabia and MbS. #Khashoggi

Regardless of CIA intel (or anyone else), Trump is eager to accept any #KSA / MbS cover story - however flimsy, obvious and farcical - for #Khashoggi.

Between this administration’s Iran stance (hi, Bolton) and Trump family financial ties, they’re all in - and more - for Saudi.
Yet another level to CIA confirmation of MbS as the actor responsible for Khashoggi’s murder — and why it won’t matter to Trump or the US in the end — has everything to do with his self-proclaimed “reformer” stance.

Think Saif Gaddafi. Think Gamil Mubarak.
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Xavier 👁👁👁
@DinerPiner
📦 2.5 months ago, I launched my first Dropshipping store.

Today, I gave my 2 weeks notice to a six figure job that was eating my soul.

A million and one pounds have been lifted from my shoulders. I could fucking cry I’m so happy.

Here’s my journey👇
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I only made this Twitter account to learn about Crypto. That’s it.

I was following people in that space and ultimately saw a retweet of @StartSellingSSS (I believe by @RogueDarren).

“Great, another fucking dropshipper” I thought.
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“No one falls for that shit”

But his tweets were fucking fire. Honest. Actionable. Practical.

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The seed was planted. 🌱
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Mr Mardy Dormouse
@pete_darby
I got given the Ladybird Album of the Dad for Father's Day. It is 90% awful cheese. My kids are delighted by my reaction of horror. FML.
Apart from anything else, it's almost certainly put together by a millenial or Geny Z'er, as most of the tracks are what Glee says are nostalgia tracks for Gen X'ers (hint, it's nostalgia for American MOR rock of the 80's more than, you know, what I was listening to 1971-2001)
So, who wants me to take this apart a track at a time? Me, that's who.
Read 68 tweets
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Alexander
@37paday
1/ Welcome to Thursday in the independent republic of Brexitlandia
2/ On Tuesday the House of Lords voted in favour of the UK staying in the single market because it works in the UK’s favour 👊👊👊
3/ Naturally the ever useful Budgie toilet paper @MailOnline promptly added the Lords to its list of enemies
Read 30 tweets
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Brett Craycraft
@CraycraftBrett
unfortunately, i accidentally deleted the original tweet, but my 24th favorite west wing moment turned into a fun little thread. so i'm taking @JessiBinnix's advice and blowing it out into a full top 25 (probably over the next few days).

@WestWingWeekly @Richard_Schiff
couple notes: this will be my personal favorite WW moments, so it's pure opinion w/ no methodology at all. my favorite moments tend to be the more goofy, out of the way ones, so don't be surprised if biggies like two cathedrals don't make the list.

ok... what's next?
#25 - S1,e4 - "five votes down"

bartlet high on pain killers is kind of a throwaway, but may be the funniest scene in the series.

sam's face when he calls him toby.

toby's face when he gets the hug.

"i'm thinking very seriously about getting a dog."

@Richard_Schiff @RobLowe
Read 31 tweets
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Otto Von Biz Markie
@Passionweiss
Please RT to let the new @LAWeekly owners and their public face @briancalle know that the city of Los Angeles will not tolerate their attempts to destroy one of its most important civic institutions. #BoycottLAWeekly
Going to keep going here because I think it's important to keep highlighting how entrenched and pernicious the conservative consolidation of the media has become.
For much of its history, LA's print media was controlled and defined by the Otis Family, who for the first 70 years of the last century were fervently anti-union and ultra right wing conservative.
Read 18 tweets

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