Thread by @behaviorgap

I am constantly asked out how we ended up in New Zealand and what are doing next.

Here is that story.

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My wife and I always wanted to experience living outside the States for a while. Nothing dramatic. Just wanted the experience.

For a while we focused on France simply because our youngest daughter was in a dual immersion program at he public school that was french.

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We visited a few times. Talked to people. Looked at schools. It just never "worked". Not sure why. Nothing specific. Just didn't happen.

We put it on hold due to commitments with our local church that typically last about 5 years.

Then life happened.

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We we're renting at the time and the landlords unexpectedly decided to sell.

Thinking we had to move, we started looking for places nearby. Nothing felt right.

Then my wife had the crazy idea that we should explore on overseas experience.

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Hadn't even crossed my mind. I was super resistant to it. But she is smarter than me, and far more determined...

She mentioned it to a friend. Told her about the France experience. The friend said "You should go to New Zealand!"

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She had lived in a beautiful town on the coast of the South Island.

10 days later we had plane tickets.

We had never been to New Zealand. We didn't know how it would work. We had NO idea about the massive amount of work it would take.

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If we had know how hard it would be I am not sure we would have done it.

But my wife is super cool with uncertainty. She is super cool with feeling that we should go a certain direction and at the same time having no idea how it will work out.

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She is super cool with not being about to see the END from the beginning.

In other words, she is super cool with reality.

Step into the dark. Have faith that things will work out.

So we did that.

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We asked that kids. We sold the idea. They bought.

We have learned that kids are way better at this then we think. It is often our fear and anxiety about the situation that carries of to the kids. They we say "oh I'd do that if my kids were younger or older or..."

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I am sure that is true for some.

But I have also found that it the adults that are scared and we use the kids as an excuse. I say that gently, and with no certainty of is broad application.

Just an observation based on my experience.

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So we moved with 17 Patagonia duffle bags and 5 bikes boxes for a one year trip to New Zealand.

This was not a retirement or vacation. We needed to keep working to afford this. That was scary! Super scary.

But my wife keep gently walking into the adventure of uncertainty.

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The first 6 months or so where amazing & SUPER HARD. I have no idea to cognitive demand of all the small bits of uncertainty.

Where is the petrol (gas) station?

What do you mean the store is closed?

What is tomato sauce and where's the ketchup?

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I'm I on the right side of the road?

Banking, utilities, mail...all seem like small little things, but end up being huge projects.

Overwhelmed. Burning through savings. Scary.

BUT...

All that next to the daily realization that I WAS LIVING IN NEW ZEALAND!

Waking up to see the Tasman bay with the beaches of Abel Tasman ringed by the snow capped mountains of Kahurangi National Park.

Walking to the office felt like I was in the Lord of The Rings. It was amazing! Rivers. Birds.

And the people...

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Don't get me started on the people.

Amazing. I learned that it is OK to assume that people are operation in good faith. People are nice. I was reminded to relax. Chat. Have a seat.

Slow down.

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So in the first 3 months it was clear that 12 months was never going to be enough.

How long then...didn't know.

Agh...the uncertainty would sometimes get to be too much! And when it did I went outside. A run next to the river or through the native forest.

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Perspective would remind me that certainty was a myth.

All that matters really was right now.

So we stayed.

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The saving account got low. Then it got high. New projects came and went like the tides and seasons.

I would cling to a number on a statement. Anchor to it. Project when things would run out...then let go and realized that all that mattered was right now.

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Then a few months ago things start to shift. I had no clue what was up...but something was afoot. Something was changing.

I have learned to recognize that feeling. I have learned to dance with it.

My wife had another dream. Going to design school. In London.

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She applied. Got accepted.

And we talked as a family and the ONLY right answer was LET'S GO!

So she went and we will follow when school's out for the kids.

How long? What after? How will it all work?

Come on now...you know the answers!