Lately I’ve been having a lot of conversations with teachers and caregivers where a tough stance was justified with, ‘In life you don’t get... (fill in the blank with accommodation this adult is not willing to give a child)’ I have thoughts. 1/?
First of all, it’s patently not true. There is not a single thing we demand from children that doesn’t have an escape clause in adulthood. (If you have one, I’d like to hear it) Adults opt out of, work around or avoid countless things all the time 2/?
Second: these things we say are ‘just getting you ready for life’ are almost always demands or assignments. We make a deadline, we give a test, we expect certain kinds of language or behavior. I would have a lot more respect for this stance if there was teaching involved 3/?
If we really feel this thing we are demanding is important, we need to teach the skills the student needs to navigate it well. Not just demand it. I don’t care what age the child. Our responsibility is to teach, not just create simulations for how hard life is. 4/?
So, if we want kids to understand deadlines, for example, we need to teach into them. Pacing, using a calendar, dealing with setbacks, communication, asking for extensions, etc. The same goes for any other ‘non-negotiables’ 5/?
For those who are thinking, ‘but life isn’t easy. I’m just getting them ready for life. Nobody taught me anything. I had to learn it the hard way.’ I say, maybe. And it’s likely someone helped you that you don’t know about. It’s also likely lots of people didn’t make it. 6/?
And also, to paraphrase @MisterMinor - What if, instead of perpetuating systems of oppression, we taught kids to dismantle them? 7/?
Yes, deadlines, quiet voices, tests, homework, boring work might be part of LIFE. But don’t we owe it to kids to not perpetuate that pain? Wouldn’t it be better to teach strategies for dealing with it? Or better, stop the practice and teach kids to dismantle it? 8/8
