Here's my promised #tweetorial for the month of October 2019. The theme is "How to Communicate your Ideas in Groups, without being Downed". Ready? How many times have you experienced the inability to put across your point of view to another, because the person whom 1/n
you are trying to speak to, is either rude, loud, unreasonable or just unwilling to listen to your perspective? If the answer is, “many times”, take heart! You're not alone! All of us have had to deal with people –within our families, among friends, during transactions in the 2/n
mall, or at work - who seem to dominate a conversation & make it difficult to have another perspective brought into the dialogue. Surely it feels bad to deal w/ such people; & we often experience hurt feelings, frustration, anger & a desire to get even with them ‘in future’. 3/n
Yet there is hope! We can learn another way of communicating & dealing w/ such people & situations. & that ‘lesser-known way’ is Assertiveness. It comprises a set of communication skills & competencies that come in extremely handy in complex interpersonal scenarios. 4/n
It helps in dealing with difficult, sometimes unreasonable people & demanding or challenging situations. Besides, it keeps you relaxed, & calm. #Assertiveness helps you not to feel guilty, stressed or miserable. At the same time, you treat others right, building rapport & trust.
Assertiveness (or Assertive communications) are not a magic wand to settle all problems but it definitely is a preferred way of interacting & behaving. In the animal kingdom, when there is a conflict, we know of just two reactions. It is either fight or flight. 6/n
But we humans possess the gift of #speaking & can use it effectively if & when there's a disagreement or a difference of opinion w/ others. Using this capability can prevent negative conversations & a painful exchange of words. The basics of effective dialogue apply here too 7/n
So the tone of voice, clarity, and #bodylanguage all need to be right. When those are in place assertion becomes the skill of honestly, openly, directly & respectfully sharing what one wants to. Before the final act of reaching out and delivering the message, however, 8/n
it's essential to know - in one's mind - specifically & clearly what one's needs, wants & feelings are. That makes it really easy to transform our ideas into appropriate words and body language. A few pointers that help us use the skill of Assertion are : 9/n
1. Using “I” statements. It is essential to convey our needs and feelings using statements that start with, “I”. For instance, saying, “I am feeling quite let-down and frustrated that I have not been considered for a promotion”, instead of, “You didn't give me a promotion!” 10/n
The latter comes across as finger-pointing and blaming, which never helps the cause, or attaining one's objectives. 2. Immediacy is vital. Encountering the issue and approaching the right person, as soon as the situation takes place, is also vital. Delay weakens the case. 11/n
3. Specificity. The actual ‘problem’ statement has to be exact, specific and clear. This helps tremendously in drafting the message in a lucid, crisp and concise way. This further influences the understanding of the other reduces unnecessary confusion & improves resolution. 12/n
4. Alignment. Making sure that verbal messages we share and the words are in tandem with the non-verbal components of communication. The congruence will happen naturally when we are genuinely involved with the matter on hand. 13/n
5. Staying Unruffled, Remaining calm, cool & centered. It doesn't t take much time for the dialogue to get out of hand & shift from assertion to aggression; & then for 1 of the persons to withdraw &get into a submissive mode& leave the situation all beaten up & disappointed. 14/n
6. Listening attentively. Knowing that listening isn't agreeing, helps a lot in being receptive, open & willing to deliberate. Assertively solving the problem & coming to a workable comprise or collaborating happens more easily. Next month's #tweetorial -Assertion Skills.15/END.
You can use the @threadreaderapp to read the above #tweetorial . All the best! Feel free to reach out to me for any clarifications or if you have a specific query. #WednesdayWisdom
