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The wife gets her heart monitor today and it’s going to take all the strength I can muster just to keep from constantly lying in wait just to startle her and ruin the results.
I mean, how else is a person supposed to flirt with the one they love?

I’m stuck until science comes up with a better way.
They gave her a little booklet to write down when she feels funny and reasons why.

It’s gonna be completely filled with “Stupid husband scared me again”

“Husband won’t stop farting in public and blaming it on me”
SEE?!
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The Dank Knight 🦇
@capeandcowell
Swalwell threatens to nuke US citizens and ends up nuking his pants on live tv.

A perfect summary of his presidential run.
Any normal man would’ve laughed and said he stepped on a frog or some crap and it would’ve been over.

He’s not a normal man though.

I would’ve immediately admitted it and become a legend.
Sweet baby Jesus, the Swalwell fart memes are gonna rule.
Read 4 tweets
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The Dank Knight 🦇
@capeandcowell
Personal opinion: I’m ashamed of @ChickfilA for bending the knee. If you think the Left will be happy now, you’re sorely mistaken.

Sprite puts a pro trans commercial out and it’s all cheers. A Christian business donates to Christian charities and it’s the end of the world.
I’ve personally went out of my way, and sat in lines, to eat at Chick-fil-A just to support them.

I’ve constantly tweeted and bragged on them. I’m not part of boycott culture, but I can’t see myself giving them as much business as I used to.
Again, this is a personal opinion. I don’t plan on completely boycotting them. That’s kinda dumb and they have great service and food.

I just don’t plan on going miles out of my way just to support them.
Read 3 tweets
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The Dank Knight 🦇
@capeandcowell
This is definitely socialist math.

“Just give the government more of your money and cash will magically appear in your wallets”
Everything the government touches turns to flaming garbage.

Ask anyone who has to deal with the V.A.
“The DOT is such a well oiled machine that I love going there” -Nobody

If they allowed Walmart to issue driver’s licenses, you’d be in and out in 5 minutes.
Read 3 tweets

Related threads

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Journal of CW Era
@JCWE1
This week we're looking back at some favorite #Muster posts, and today we're focusing on pedagogical discussions and ideas for classrooms--the perfect inspiration for a new semester!

Here @HilaryGreen77 offers spot-on advice about teaching Reconstruction
journalofthecivilwarera.org/2017/10/teachi…
@HilaryGreen77 Here's another favorite on Reconstruction, with concrete advice on how to effectively incorporate women into discussions of this period, by Catherine Jones journalofthecivilwarera.org/2018/04/beyond…
Many of our pedagogy posts on #Muster are designed to work in conjunction with articles in the print journal; such is that case with John Sacher's advice about how to teach the "Twenty Negro Law" journalofthecivilwarera.org/2017/08/twenty…
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Kika✨Comms Open!
@B1ackPa1adins
I have a WIP I need to finish, so logically I must start a new #sheith thread

I guess it *could* be a S8 fix it of sorts, but I'm ignoring both the epilogue and Allura dying, so.... more canon-divergent. Here there be angst, but there'll be a happy ending, I promise.
After Keith and the other paladins fall from the sky, Shiro doesn't leave the hospital for days. He checks in on all of them, of course, but he stays with Keith. He attends meetings remotely, answers questions, and writes his upcoming speech, all from Keith's bedside.
It's hard to see him like this, so pale and still, but it would be even harder to /not/ be there. As the other paladins wake up, one by one, Shiro is happy for them, but becomes quietly more and more worried about Keith, who hasn't stirred.
Read 371 tweets
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abhilash
@kabhilash02
is market fairly valued or not?
understanding few basic concepts
The earnings that we generally expect to grow by 14-15% every year, assuming the real growth of GDP to be 8% and inflation to be 6%.
In the last 4-5 yrs the GDP growth has disappointed. (1/n)
That does not mean we believe the growth rate expected in future should be lowered, we still believe based on RBI and govt comments that India is a country where to employ the large number of people that join the workforce every year, we need 8% real GDP growth and (2/n)
Read 21 tweets
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Richard James
@RichJamesBits
I have reached a whole new level of #PISSEDOFF.

I didnt think such a #dark and #scary state, or level, could be reached. It may top 12-14-17's causation. It's. That. Bad. So, I've prepared a statement...

docs.google.com/document/d/1_J…

#PascoSheriff #HaveYouAllNoShame @CigarCityBeer
Dear @FBI,
I must implore you ask your colleauges in @FBITampa to help research this new level of #PISSEDOFFNESS. As locals, they may offer a special indepth knowledge of this new level I have reached. This is not fair & law enforcement must #investigate. No one deserves this.
This is my #apogee of #Pissedoffness.
If #motherfuckers & #tears werent a noticable level.
If #HUSH or #INTIMIDATION tactics being deployed didnt strike a chord.
If #EVIDENCE, PROOF, or 30k Bonds didnt #WOW YOU.
If posting mom with no shred of investigatable value wasnt enough...
Read 463 tweets
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John Adamus
@awesome_john
I was up early this morning (thanks chest pain), and it got me thinking.

So today's thread is about pursuing your dreams.
I cannot stress this loud enough, I could not possibly say this often enough, but if you have something you want to do, some thing you want to make, some person you want to talk to, some goal you want to achieve - go do it.

No, it's not easy. But that doesn't mean don't do it.
I look at my adult life and I see a few clear schisms, a few moments where I had very little choice but to change and change hard, because I had boxed myself into some kind of corner.

These are also the moments when I strayed farthest from my dreams.
Read 30 tweets

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