Thread by @AcademicFoxhole

#ttrpg Red Flag thread.
GMs, if your players are always hiding their plans from you and surprising you at the last minute, that's probably because they don't trust you not to metagame and try to "win" by foiling their plans unfairly. That is a moment for self-reflection.

Are you playing an old school Gamist sort of game where the GM has an antagonistic relationship with the players and *everyone* understands this is what you are all doing? If so, then carry on and have a good time in that Tomb of Horrors. If that's not what you think is going on?

Or if your players haven't explicitly signed on for an antagonistic challenge campaign, then you may want to rethink how you are GMing. Remember, there is no winning or losing in RPGs and you are on the same team as the players. You don't have to prove your dominance.

If they come up with a good plan, you don't have to wreck it to be a "good GM." You don't need to beat them to prove you are smarter than them or to maintain GM authority. You are there to challenge them, but do it fairly. Have fun *with* them!

Player corollary.
Are you, as a player, always obscuring your plans from your GM and then springing them on her at the last minute? Ask yourself why you are doing that? Are you in an antagonistic game where the GM is out to get you and you are out to beat the GM?

Have you both agreed to have an antagonistic game? Then carry on and don't put your head in the yawning portal. Are you withholding because your GM is antagonistic and you don't like it? Certainly talk to your GM. Maybe they don't realize they are being antagonistic.

Maybe after a conversation he might change his ways. But maybe you have to leave that gaming group and play with a new GM who is not antagonistic.
Maybe you have the habit of withholding because you've had bad experiences with other GMs and you feel like you have to withhold.

Are you afriad if you don't withhold then the GM'll ruin your plans? My advice is try openness with your new GM. As a GM, I really like knowing player plans in advance. Not so I can find a way around them, because we are all on the same team, but so I can do better session prep.

The more I can prep, the better a can make the experience for the players. I'm a member of the team with the players and knowing player plans helps me help you have more fun. Maybe older GMs traumatized you, but give me (or your new GM) a the benefit of the doubt.

Now maybe *you* enjoy being antagonistic...but haven't had that conversation with the GM? Have that conversation, because maybe the GM doesn't enjoy that style. Don't go into a boxing match if not everyone has consented. But I'll also ask you to think why you like this?

This is a moment of self reflection. Remember, there is no winning or losing in RPGs and you are on the same team as the GM and other players. You don't have to prove your dominance. You withholding plans in order to get a gotcha on your GM...doesn't make you smarter or better.

GMs, if you have a player that is regularly withholding information to pull a gotcha and it is hampering your ability to do your job or hampering your fun? Talk to that player. Maybe the player has been traumatized and you need to build trust with them.

On the other hand, maybe they are a bit of a bully player and would be better served in a different game.

Everyone needs to be playing the same game for everyone to have fun.