Profile picture
, 3 tweets, 1 min read
My Authors
Read all threads
If I had to convince an advanced alien race to blow up the Earth, all I would have to do is show them TikTok.
Hell, it would probably make them blow up the whole galaxy, just to be sure.
Interstellar Sultan Zorb III: "We would never annihilate other life. We are a peaceful race."

Me: "Here's some 3-second videos of kids screeching and eating cereal out of each other's mouths."

Interstellar Sultan Zorb III: "Okay, now we have to go Independence Day on your ass."
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Enjoying this thread?

Keep Current with Matthew Chapman

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @fawfulfan see all

Profile picture
Matthew Chapman
@fawfulfan
I've often been supportive of @AOC but this is not true. At all.

The Democratic Party is within the mainstream of European left-wing parties on taxation, unions, health care, social spending, and climate, and far further left than most of them on immigration and LGBTQ rights.
For the umpteenth time, the problem isn't Democrats. The problem is Republicans.

Only a handful of parties in the developed world are more extreme than the GOP on the economy, like Vox. A few are more racist and xenophobic than the GOP, like AfD, but it's still at the upper end.
Moreover if you look at the Democratic platform, it is very much in line with what left-wing parties support in Europe.

Even Biden or Klobuchar's plans on health care, taxes, climate change, are pretty much standard left over there. And they're supposedly the "moderates."
Read 5 tweets
Profile picture
Matthew Chapman
@fawfulfan
Not everywhere will get warmer as climate change continues.

In particular, if melting Arctic ice dilutes the North Atlantic enough to shut down the Gulf Stream, it will cause dramatic cooling in Europe. Britain and Ireland would turn into something more like Northern Canada.
Oh and here's some extra fun! Since all that heat the Gulf Stream was carrying to Western Europe is now stuck where it is, northern Mexico and the southeastern United States would get a lot hotter. And they aren't exactly cool places as it is right now.
Bottom line, London would develop a climate like Moscow, and Miami and Houston would develop a climate like Delhi.
Read 3 tweets
Profile picture
Matthew Chapman
@fawfulfan
Are you pissed off that GOP judges in Florida just gutted Amendment 4 and will now require all rehabilitated convicts to pay fines and fees to vote?

Save some room to be angrier. There are TWENTY-NINE OTHER STATES that already do this. allianceforajustsociety.org/wp-content/upl…
8 states other than FL — AL, AR, AZ, CT, DE, GA, IA, and TN — have a requirement to pay all legal financial obligations to vote.

21 other states don't explicitly require it, but do require you to complete probation to vote, and in turn require paying LFOs to complete probation.
In recent years we've made a lot of genuine progress towards undoing felony disenfranchisement. Even in Florida! This gutted version of Amendment 4 is still better than the system before it.

But we have a long, long way to go.
Read 3 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
Mat Velloso
@matvelloso
I woke up thinking of a list of inconvenient truths. It's an exercise I like to do sometimes. This is what I came up with so far:
1-Given enough time, every existing problem tends towards complete irrelevancy.
2-One day human race will be extinct. It's not an "if".
Read 22 tweets
Profile picture
Dinheiro público pra salvar bancos privados
@sratoz
(Só faz sentido se você ler a thread original inteira, aliás genial.)

- 2102: first contact with the Klingons.
- 2102: Disney buys the Klingon Empire. Gowron is now a Disney Princess.
- 2105: Disney buys the Borg Collective. The Borg Queen is now a Disney Princess.
- 2107: first intergalactic flight is completed by DSS (Disney Space Ship) Mickey One
- 2110: Disney buys Andromeda, pisses off the Kelvan Empire
- 2111: Disney quashes the Kelvan resistance, establishes Disney Andromeda theme park, taking up the whole galaxy

@TripnoticMusic
@TripnoticMusic - 2115: Disney converts Milky Way into parking lot for Disney Andromeda
- 2120: Virgo Supercluster is renamed Disney Supercluster, with Disney theme parks scattered in all known galaxies. Local Group becomes parking lot
Read 10 tweets
Profile picture
Curation Mostly....🤔👨‍💻
@CurationMostly
A running thread of things that @Twitter could do to unlock value for users. Will add to overtime. Please feel free to retweet and reply with your own, most of these below I have just taken and summarized from others. In no particular order. 1/♾ #JustKidding 🤔 or am I?
@Twitter I drafted a tweet on my phone but of course, can't access "draft's" on the desktop. So lets maybe start there. The desktop and @Tweetdeck version should be MORE robust than the mobile app not less. Tweetdeck, for example, has no bookmarks, emoji's, live video, polls, gif's, etc
@Twitter @TweetDeck There are SO MANY great meaningful quotes, threads, replies, and conversations that vanish into the Twitter ether, drowned out by hot takes, snark, and 280 character riffs on what some influencer or politician just did. Find a way to collect and resurface this treasure trove.
Read 80 tweets
Profile picture
🐐𝙙𝙧𝙪
@DrutangAtHome
Stargate has an episode where they form an alliance with an advanced alien race that gives them an anti-aging/cancer vaccine.....

That makes the whole planet infertile so they can take it over in a few short generations

Hmmmmm 🤔🤣🤣
The episode took place in 2010

The advanced race was able to use their status as the savoirs of Earth in order to manipulate the media and hide the plummeting birthrates and its cause

Wild to think how many parallels we can draw and how quickly such a thing could happen.
But it's not like WE have an elite technologically advanced class of rulers that control the media and are obsessed with depopulation

RIGHT??

LMAO
Read 4 tweets
Profile picture
T. Greg Doucette
@greg_doucette
Witty!

(Non-consensual hugs typically qualify as assault in most jurisdictions btw)

Are those... tears?

Because they look like tears

I bet they're delicious

He did not know that. Guaranteed.

Read 1674 tweets
Profile picture
T. Greg Doucette
@greg_doucette
Texas's anti-SLAPP statute requires the judge to enter an order for the loser to pay the winner's attorney fees. It's not optional.

TCPA §27.009(a)

Twitter says you've @'d me 78 times since 6/11, with 20+ of them in just the past few hours

This seems like a pot-kettle moment for you

Definitely a reasonable assumption. Given Screech's perpetual word vomit on YouTube, there are likely some things he'll authenticate that would help on the merits of the TCPA motion too

Read 1582 tweets

Trending hashtags

#Hastags #MeepMeep #Earth #sexed #TikTok #Klimawandel #race #LawTwitter #Monetize #Part2 #Movies #Threadnought #ElvisCostello #cyclones #Diversify #Animation #ded #Lists #45DaysOfElvisCostello #YourLittleSecret #PeakTV #ItsTime #earth #tiktok #white
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!