So, one of the things about chronic illness is that it cuts into your ability to have fun. Unsafe if alone. But if with others, can make you "unreliable." I've never been one to ask for help. To be in a position of dependency, asking a favor is opposite of being carefree, free.
That said, last year I risked it:flew up to #NovaScotia. Rented a car. Drive around for 4-6 hour drives, alone, in blissful, glorious solitude surrounded by natural beauty, staying close to the main loop so as to be not too far from help (or cell phone signal). Soul-replenishing
The other thing I have realized is that I'm safer by myself than in a group when I am unwell. 1- I tend to be so focused on others that I forget to check in with myself 2- I tend to be likely to follow the momentum/flow/energy.
Had a very bad episode on Block Island in July once
So I often will travel on a guided tour a solo person. Then there is a set schedule that has been communicated ahead + good safety. If I feel unwell, then I can just communicate with the guide - what I need for self care - without affecting others' schedules or enjoyment.
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I'm always amused by sales or marketing or communication professionals attempt to sell to me how I need their help, how I need their protection, etc or it could be "mutual benefit" to connect. Oh, then what is your rank for what you are paid to do and attempting to charge me for?
Why am I able to outpace, by far, sales, marketing, and communication professionals? What is it they are teaching you wrong in school and/or you are unable to apply for success in real life?
Likely, the answer is: authenticity
Lived experience
Open communication
Values
Yes, metrics matter
Yes, reputation needs to be protected
But as we see happening with Dr. Fauci, those who wish to suppress science-based information (that they find embarrassing or wish to hide) will malign the person speaking about verifiable facts. Blowback does happen.
Mea culpa: Rulebreaker/boundary-defier of the cookie-cutter #marketing best practices (yet am a top 1% influencer status for #healthcare so 🤷♀️) yes, I admit we have a range of logos within a color family. If you are bothered, I invite you accept a diversity of colors ;-)
Much of this is familiar: "This made me that Black, gay resident once again. The same attending ..called me by the wrong name.. confusing me for the only other Black resident in our program,,When I approached him about it privately, he 'didn’t want to speak about this.'"
I have never been in a setting where my name was correctly used without my being interchangeable with another BIPOC. Every single workplace, I am not me. My name is not mine. My identity is not mine. It is whatever others need from me that moment for their work/metrics.
What #Blackexcellence experiences on top of what all BIPOC experience, of being an object, token, dehumanized, is the long history of legal dehumanization through slavery that remains embedded today in institutions and cultures. That's why #BLM has to be said specifically.
So true. The #pandemic has revealed whose inability to cope with disruption & loss of (false sense of) control results in their need to assert online control of others
I see so much uptick of low value & harmful policing behaviors. It is waste
I fully believe that those who harm others through control are suffering themselves. Most forms of abuse, including overcontrol and overpolicing are from own anxiety, fear, inability to feel safe -> control over others
But instead of spreading fear, could focus on solutions
It requires a tolerance of risk and growth mindset to thrive and stay creative in chaos, disruption
..amid constant failure of what should be trusted systems and authorities
Those who experienced the least harm from (even then harmful) systems are the most unable to cope now
Stuff like this makes my day.. week
Teach girls & women to try & fail
Be brave, not perfect
(Women have joined the team then had to step away. I support their having tried)
I hate saying no
So if I could not support her to participate, created an alternate opportunity
This is the @TEDTalks by @reshmasaujani ted.com/talks/reshma_s… - as a South Asian woman I especially love this as both heritage & "model minority' teaches perfection (which is a fear-based goal, fear of failure with metrics that are external rather than internal mission/goals)
It is my personal mission to teach girls & for model for
women not to allow anyone to box them in or define the boundaries of their talent, achievement, humanity
Expand
Be messy
Try & fail
Start something & leave it unfinished
Write code that does not run
Be "too"..
..big
..much
My gratitudes for this week.
-Just got back and had 3 messages waiting for me from people who got things done on #Hackathon work. Also more money was raised. I can build a team, activate folks, & they will get things done... with joy.
-OMG the flowers were SO pretty today!!!...
..-My rent in Boston came down $400
-my classmates are waiting for me to arrive to do stuff together
-part of why I have so much stuff is each card and show program is a cherished memory but I can let go of the "stuff" and keep the memories
-I get to work with amazing faculty...
-I know I already said this but I came back to find work already done (albeit as assigned). Like OMG. It's beautiful. Like leave with anxiety, come back calmer, find work done. Minus the anxiety, could everyday end like this?