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Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
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4 Mar, 10 tweets, 5 min read
My mom taught me self compassion, something she was not always allowing herself. She was the perfect mom to a child with neurodiversity to protect me from what the world normally does to sensitive girls who end up in Gifted & Talented (drawing ire of male classmates & their moms)
This kind of resentment is common in #STEM too:controls, ridicules, & shames creative or out-of-box women. Neatness takes up less space and is perfectionist. Perfectionism is a form of anxiety. Anxiety blocks risk taking necessary for innovation. Then we say women not innovative.
Girls start out confident.

If you did not have my mom, you would lose confidence, develop #impostersyndrome, like most girls do.

Your language would narrow. You would start to contain yourself. Reviewers would rate your grants as less “innovative.”

sciencemag.org/careers/2019/0…
The correct response is NOT “lean in” as women and minorities face a penalty for “overconfidence” when the benchmark is set by this type of gatekeeping. Women entrepreneurs get asked different questions.

hbr.org/amp/2020/01/ho…
That is just getting the funding or position. Then #ethics. If your leadership or vision not believed, or trusted, higher likelihood of coercion, tokenism, pressure. You’ll be less able to stay ethical.

=Selection bias for unethical female leaders

benefitspro.com/2016/03/23/fem… ImageImageImage
This may be why I often feel disgust in many “women’s spaces” that supposedly are “safe spaces.” I have rarely felt psychologically or ethically safe.

Am really not sure how to get out of this repeating loop of which women succeed, what must be tolerated.
wired.com/story/female-f…
I have been selective in who I work with. I do not take on work or clients or jobs that do not align with my values or ethics.

My intentional “brand” is one of trustworthiness, transparency, quality, safety, vetted and validated reliability.

forbes.com/sites/dennisja…
To be frank, the mentors and peers I feel most supported by for navigating ethics of the business of healthcare are men.

They have not spent their careers apologizing for or hiding their ambition or self esteem.

Women teach women scarcity, fear, lack.

newyorker.com/science/maria-…
This @nature article should not have been retracted. Women DO need male mentors. Women at midcareer/senior positions too embattled/compromised to support in the same way.

Women also need a mom like mine to have an inner confidence, not #impostersyndrome

nature.com/articles/s4146…
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More from @usnehal

Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
21 Mar
This is beautiful. The masjid/Islamic center of Colorado served the neighborhood, reducing barriers for all, regardless of faith.
The U.S. government is responsible for the this vaccine hesitancy from these past ethics violations that abused the hard work of humanity public health workers who had painstakingly gained trust over years. Trust takes time to rebuild.

npr.org/sections/thetw…
That’s why I’ve been working with various Muslim groups to spread factual, trustworthy information to communities on #COVID19, #VaccinesWork

Read 4 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
21 Mar
@rezaaslan Honestly, we are past a point of thinking all brown is the same. There is tremendous diversity in South Asia.

The accent. The way of talking. The head movements. None of it is remotely Afghan. There was a way to actually represent Afghan or Pathan culture beyond casting.
@rezaaslan Asking the people whose identity is being used to either play the part or at least inform the character development is essential to moving past caricatures to representation.

As for brown savior: Mammies often “saved” their mistresses/masters.

harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-t…
@rezaaslan Key part of the article on way Mammies are portrayed.

I’d like to see how this sitcom would be different.

I get the argument that it is important to get sympathetic/likable Muslim characters on the screen. Maybe this is the extent of progress possible.
But was it? Image
Read 11 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
20 Mar
Am grateful my #endometriosis and #fibroids only affects me severely one day a cycle and is not severe every cycle. Still that one day can make me unable to get out of bed or sit up without passing out. Severity worsens with stress.

Today I feel have my life back. Thank God.
Mind you, my definition of severe is “I pass out from pain.” I don’t know if it is really a good thing I self suppress so well that I don’t even feel or react to pain until it threatens my ability to stay conscious. I don’t glamorize “grit” that is a lack of self compassion
It is an accommodation to the pathology in the world we live that was apparent with the events this week. 6 Asian women killed but the compassion was for the killer who “had a bad day” by authorities while the women were mislabeled as sex workers to validate their deaths.
Read 31 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
18 Mar
Sometimes you need a physician-child to physician-child call. “I hope you know none of this is your fault.”

Thankfully I have been really effective at not going down dark paths of coulda shoulda woulda.

I helped Daddy stay in right frame of mind.

We live in shaming society.
Still, it meant a lot that someone I went to school with called with that, likely sharing what he knows from loss of a parent as well.

The people who have lost a parent get it.

I can see why there are grief circles.

Some people get it.
People outside of clinical medicine (or even in it) also can assume doctors have unending power, privilege, access.

One auntie “with your girls as daughters I assumed she had the best of everything.” She likely did not hear what she said to a grieving daughter. Implies failure.
Read 8 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
18 Mar
My mother’s aunt just passed away. That was the last of the old guard. Please pray for her soul.
Thank you for the condolences.

Without going into too many details, we had always lived in different countries and I knew of her more than knew her.

There is an awareness of loss because South Asian and Muslim women do not often tell their stories.
I am disrupting (yet again) with all my social media posting because it goes against so many cultural and family values.

So many ppl have asked me when I will publish a book, novel. I can’t tell “my” stories without affecting others.

And no, that is not always oppression.
Read 20 tweets
Umbereen S. Nehal, MD, MPH Profile picture
18 Mar
On reading this my thoughts:
-not a primary care field
-two-specialist couple
-focus in procedures and lucrative call, not humans being treated
-these “options” possible if one has chronic illness, elder care, etc
-derisive towards colleagues
-no interest in equity

Realistic?
It’s great that doctor made it work to retire at 43 and have gotten the math right all along. If one is going to judge colleagues, though, be ready for the reverse. We have a rising maternal mortality rate and increasing disparity. IUDs are an important part of reducing that, yes
Even if we stick just to ob/gyn field: some may wish to not only be the “IUD queen” (birth control is SUPER important - not at all discounting it), what about the ob/gyn who chooses to live in NYC and focus in whole person care for WOC who do give birth?

health.ny.gov/community/adul… ImageImageImageImage
Read 18 tweets

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