Umbereen S Nehal, MD, MPH, MBA Profile picture
Dec 10, 2021 9 tweets 4 min read Read on X
I only became certified as an executive #coach as I experience SUCH bad coaching...I can't even begin to describe all the levels of wrong. But this is one of those times (a lot of my life) when someone harmed (on my dime no less) then I was motivated to create something better
A part of me was like yeah, yeah, yeah..I know this stuff...hurry up and give me the darn certificate. But.... I have to say, I see myself changing in practice sessions: able to not tell/be a consultant but open up space, listen, reflect THEIR words, then get them to go deeper.
I see SO many bad...like harmful bad..coaches out there...who beat you up to try to motivate you while also talking of compassion. *sigh*

I am learning that I care SO much about #safety (which I knew) - it is the trigger when I fail to be a coach and become ED doc/pediatrician
If I hear someone suggesting to themselves something that seems self-suppression, psychologically unsafe, will fare poorly....I insert myself in a way that is opposed to coaching best practices. Gah. But...am learning how not to just ignore either...
Now...I am learning to get them to reflect on how that felt, what those words or decisions mean to them. They do figure it out, actually. People have a LOT of wisdom within them. (The toxic "coaches" make you dependent on them for answers.) It is amazing to observe the growth.
The other scenario that gets me and I have to really work on is if I am coaching the coach of a CEO and then I do not focus on my client but their managing their client. Then I go into very active mode to help them deliver & impress a busy CEO and I am doing opposite to my job.
I need to open up the space for them to consider what they want as a coach in their own right. I'm not coaching their CEO but coaching them to coach. Coaching the coach is such an interesting scenario. It's complex and I need to keep working on that to avoid consultant mode.
I can't have the impact I want if I allow my real or perceived ideas of others' needs or expectations to put me in a consulting mode. Yes, I DO often know the answer, 3x faster than others from SO much education+life experience. That is the hotshot consultant not the coach, tho.
As a #pediatrician I genuinely believe everyone is smart, but some people are fish put into a tree so their talent is not recognized. (or whatever that analogy is) People need to learn to best utilize what they have in themselves and be confident in their own selves, find answers

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More from @usnehal

May 29, 2023
This. When I had experiencing #bullying towards myself, I had just walked away or been silent, keep moving forward.

Once I had some degree of “rank”, felt others should not “just deal”

I did speak up on behalf of those less powerful… which only set me up for this mislabeling.
That is not to say that as faculty you should not speak up for or defend students are trainees

but you should be aware of this.

If the #bully is a woman, then she can always claim that she is being “attacked”… “as a woman”

That narrative aligns with a common reality.
False narratives spread quickly

if they align with something that people recognize as a truth (& may even have experienced themselves)

This is particularly why Machiavellian types are strategic/smart to utilize/promote a female bully while they stay more quiet/behind scenes
Read 13 tweets
Jun 24, 2022
@ErinMarieMHCMEd @danpreston @JoshuaMZeitz @AmandaMarcotte All of this was already tested out vs American Muslims - the country was just fine with it. Regardless of what you think of the dad, killing/executing American citizen children by drone, along with father, should have been a big red flag on due process.

theatlantic.com/politics/archi…
@ErinMarieMHCMEd @danpreston @JoshuaMZeitz @AmandaMarcotte ~Half of Americans approve of/support torture. The idea is you can use profiling/bias to assume someone is a terrorist or sympathizes with terrorists, assume has information, torture them first, then retroactively justify violation of human rights.

pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017…
@ErinMarieMHCMEd @danpreston @JoshuaMZeitz @AmandaMarcotte Loss of Civil Liberties happened after 9/11: even if go white water rafting, spied on

pandemic killed >1 million dead but CDC has removed mask mandate & FL just refused to order vaccines=no interest in saving lives/prevention 9/11 killed 3K➡️police state

gothamist.com/news/nypd-spie…
Read 5 tweets
Jun 23, 2022
I think I need to go to law school. It might be a bit late to be #RBG & make it to SCOTUS… but seriously, it is all about the courts, the law, legal precedents.

Or maybe I just need to make myself small/silent enough to be able to fit into a government job again?
As hard as it is for me to stay in government long term given all the regulations that box you in/tie you up

plus needing to be a public servant to serve every taxpayer, even the ones you don’t agree with/like

Despite that, you *can* have an impact…small things at scale matter
There are times like this I want to be a cat & have 9 lives because there SO too many things I want to do…

…even though other times I am like, okay, how long exactly am I supposed to serve in this life because I am exhausted. (Albeit I did just recover from anemia.)
Read 5 tweets
Jun 23, 2022
For the first time in my life I felt unsafe doing #GOTV & got personally targeted & my photo posted on a QAnon type site.

More appalling was how many on #healthcare & #academia, if you are connected on social media like FB, are pro-violence & anti-rule of law & support J6.
If you are a Black, immigrant, LGBTQ, chronic illness, Muslim, etc person, patient, #HCW, teacher, heck yeah, is scary

Thing is those who have been safely tucked in cocoon of suburbia, worried about junior making the cut for the bball team
now feels suddenly scary

Us: not new
We *need* the ppl who typically enjoy more safety to step up. It feels “ick” to report, like you are an informant in Nazi Germany or something, but it is opposite: being “nice” & “not controversial” & “let’s all get along”
➡️empowers bullies

Be a true ally
Not bully ally

Cuz:
Read 5 tweets
Jun 22, 2022
Anyone who did not see this coming does not understand #tech…(which includes people who design #AI).

“Important nuances were lost in translation when a rule commonly used to measure disparate impacts on protected groups in hiring was codified for easy-to-use tools…AI fairness”
Every time I see “our #AI will solve bias! Give us your #DEI budget!” win an #innovation award, accelerator, #hackathon I feel exhausted…

institutions would rather purchase ineffective & worsening-the-problem #tech than hard work of holding ppl accountable or change culture
And this is how #DEI - how currently approached - is ineffective & wastes money because a small amount of money is thrown at it with zero/minimal real hard work & unwillingness to be uncomfortable. Hence these bills: amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/01/19…
Read 5 tweets
Jun 21, 2022
When will we admit that “clash of civilizations” of Islamophobia narrative is not only false but dangerous. “War on Terror”=waging war vs Muslims but #J6 & #BuffaloMassacre reveal terror is not one religion. When Muslims are “legit” targets…that supremacist hate spreads further. ImageImageImageImage
Who was it “okay” to torture? (assumed is a terrorist?) Whose civil liberties disappeared 20 years ago? Muslims.

“But you all ‘deserve’ it” we’ve heard &: Why didn’t you stop terrorism? Why haven’t you apologized about x & y?

Now: consequences of that

vox.com/2016/3/31/1133…
The “Great Replacement” is an extension of “Clash of Civilizations” that conflict/war is “inevitable” between “different” humans defined by race or religion. It dehumanizes some humans as “less than” or “threat.” Once you label as such, violence follows. vox.com/science-and-he…
Read 22 tweets

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