Stefan Simanowitz Profile picture
Apr 1 6 tweets 7 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
#BREAKING: Scientists have released photographs of what is thought to be a the first recorded unicorn, discovered in a remote part of the Galápagos Islands

The creature - nicknamed ‘the Rainbow Unicorn” due to its colourful tusk - is believed to a cross between a narwhal & a dog
An intn’l team of scientists from the Charles Darwin Foundation said in a statement:

“For thousands of years, each mating season, blessings of Narwhals have come ashore at this remote beach

Being mammals, it appears that they successfully bred with dogs”
“We are working on the assumption that the rainbow tusk is the result of
antediluvian breeding with one of the many rainbow-coloured species that inhabit this unique archipelago,” Dr Abril Salinas de Tonta of the Galapagos National Science Center told journalists
#RainbowUnicorn
The #RainbowUnicorn is just one of 12 new species discovered by the scientific team

“The magic of the Galapagos is in the isolation. The removed geography of the islands from the rest of the world allowed for & forced species to adapt & evolve” #BREAKING
CONFESSION: The #RainbowUnicorn story is - sadly - #FakeNews

It was cooked up by me & Mango for #AprilFoolDay

The photo of Mango & the rainbow is a genuine one, taken on Brighton beach last year 😂😂😊
#AprilFools #AprilFool #AprilFoolDay2023
A few years ago I went to Cornwall with friends over Easter…which happened to fall on #AprilFoolsDay

On the night before #AprilFools we all went out

Me & a friend stayed out later than the others & concocted a story for the WhatsApp group

After they left, I’d been arrested…

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More from @StefSimanowitz

Apr 2
1/. Today marks 3 years since the govt INSTRUCTED hospitals to send people “who may have #COVID19” to care homes WITHOUT TESTING

The govt KNEW about asymptomatic transmission in Jan/Feb 2020

Tens of thousands died

Which minister signed this off…& why?

See #CareHomeScandal👇 Image
2/. “They cover-up crime with scandal & cover-up malice with incompetence. They want to project an image of being inept, instead of as having a cruel & well-defined plan” @sarahkendzior

Last week marked the 3rd anniversary of the US “nursing home scandal”

Parallel strategies?👇 Image
3/. The evidence of a parallel UK/US #COVID19 strategy was striking, but it was circumstantial

👉an unscientific herd immunity strategy
👉soaring death rates
👉ignoring WHO warnings
👉delayed lockdown
👉lack of PPE etc

Then details of parallel contracts with Palantir came out👇 ImageImageImageImage
Read 5 tweets
Mar 27
Q. What’s the worst day of the year for dictators, despots & populists?

A. Tmw ‘cos @amnesty release our annual report on the state of #HumanRights in 156 countries

DM me for a copy
(Video👇featuring @NazaninBoniadi, @angeliquekidjo @itspetergabriel @U2)
“It’s easy to feel hopeless in the face of atrocities & abuses but throughout the last year, people have shown we’re not powerless. We need less hypocrisy, less cynicism, & more action by all states to promote & protect all rights” @AgnesCallamard @amnesty
Respect for human rights around the world is deteriorating

@amnesty’s research indicates more than half of the states we monitored used torture or other ill-treatment

The annual report paints a disturbing picture of the global state of human rights today amn.st/6016O8EAO Image
Read 7 tweets
Mar 18
85/. #OTD 20 years ago, Iraq rejected the US ultimatum for Saddam Hussein & his sons to leave the country

The UN was obliged to pull its arms inspector out of the country

A massive military force was amassed around Iraqi borders

The stage was set for war
#IraqInvasion #IraqWar Image
86/. “As the US prepares to attack Iraq, it is doing so on the basis of a number of allegations against Saddam Hussein that have been challenged - & in some cases disproved - by the UN, European govts & even US intel reports”

#OTD this @washingtonpost story was buried on page 13 Image
87/. #OTD “Operation Shock & Awe” began

The continuous bombing campaign involved around 1,700 air sorties (504 cruise missiles)

Over 7,000 Iraqi civilians were killed in the bombing

Many more lives would be lost…
#IraqInvasion #IraqWar #Iraq20YearsOn
Read 13 tweets
Mar 7
1/. Tmw, Amnesty Turkey's former Chair Taner Kılıç & Amnesty Turkey's ex-director, İdil Eser, Özlem will be back in court facing absurd "terrorism" charges

@amnesty & @aforgutu will be there to demand their acquittal after almost 6 years of judicial farce
amnesty.org/en/latest/news…
2/. These politically-motivated prosecutions aim to silence critical voices in Turkey

Over the course of 12 hearings, every allegation levelled against these human rights activists was repeatedly & comprehensively proven baseless

It’s taken a heavy toll
3/. This morning, two of my ex-@amnesty colleagues are back in court on absurd terror charges

They were arrested with 9 others, almost 6 years ago

2+ million people around the world have called them to be given justice

Today @aforgutu are at the court
Read 6 tweets
Mar 3
1/. On 5 March 2020, the BBC reported that a 70 year-old woman in Reading had became the first Briton to die of COVID19

Three years on - this Sunday - we mark #CovidMemorialDay by lighting a candle at 7pm & observing a minute's silence to honour the dead
covidmemorialday.org.uk
2/. One doesn’t truly recover from loss. If you are lucky, you will heal from loss. But never completely

Shakespeare warns that if we fail to "give sorrow words the grief will o-er wrought heart & bid it break"

#CovidMemorialDay we give our sorrow words
amnesty.org/en/latest/news…
3/. In the UK, #COVID deaths became so entwined with politics that the simple act of grieving became almost a political act

But grief doesn’t care about politics

You could be left or right - @piersmorgan or @Piers_Corbyn - & feel the same need to grieve.
Read 5 tweets
Mar 1
Leaked emails show Matt Hancock ignored advice to test all people entering care homes during the pandemic

On 13/5/20, I broke the #CareHomeScandal👇

Three years on, these leaks reveal Hancock decided not to make it mandatory to test those entering care homes from the community! Image
“We stuck to the science like glue” @BorisJohnson

“We were guided by the science. We didn't always follow the science" HANCOCK

Cod behavioural science gave us “behavioural/lockdown fatigue”

Asymptomatic spread was ignored

Many errors were made…but these weren’t ‘mistakes’👇 ImageImageImageImage
The NHS is the most trusted brand in the UK

Cambridge Analytica is the least trusted

Yet #Palantir reportedly taught CA how to scrape data

Is the big plan deregulation in order to allow the hoovering up of genomic data to give levels of power & control only ever dreamed of?!
Read 8 tweets

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