Thread by @ComSaraDufour

“Dear feedback, you’re loopy!”

With no slides, with @Morendil

#newcrafts

FEAR stands for
F antasy
E xperienced
As
R eality

It can interFEAR with feedback.

Courage is not living without fear. It’s doing the difficult duties, having the hard conversations, looking for the deepest or darkest things *in spite of* the fear.

Hierarchy brings safety and consent issues up.

Feedback is always about the person giving it.

When you give #feedback you need to be ok with the person choosing not to take it into account. If you’re not, it’s either a request or attempt at manipulating –not feedback.

What is your intention with this feedback you want to give?

Who are you taking care of?

Are you taking care of the person in front of you? Or yourself? Or are you taking care of your relationship with them?

The relationship itself can be seen as a feedback loop. A self regulating system.

Adding delay to a feedback loop makes it really hard to control a system. When the blame and resentment pile up, a relationship will blow up eventually.
Fear introduces delay: you keep your feedback to yourself, your inner conversations ends up being a system in itself, looping.

Which can result in burn-out, depression.

Is your company a place that sends managers to feedback trainings, or where managers *attend* feedback trainings? …

To wrap up:

• Say "feedback loop" instead of just feedback
• Take care of your relationships, knowing your options
• Systems theory can be really useful

When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environnement, not the flower. 🪴

#newcrafts