Thread by @FoiaTheThings

.@CIA cafateria complaints - Starting with the 2014 #FOIA via @MuckRock assets.documentcloud.org/documents/7862…

1) Disappointment at @CIA, after "Friday treat" breakfast goes off-brand

2) The pre-made salads at @CIA, are very good, but the new Southwestern Chicken Caesar salad is EXCELLENT

3) I recently purchased 1/4 White Chicken Platter at @CIA, but was short-changed.This needs to be corrected. Thanks!

4) Finally, you have improved the salad dressing set-up... it is GREAT . . . THANK YOU.

5) Please consider reinstating the previous Brewed Iced Tea dispensers, because this new tea tastes just terrible.

6) The hot bar today, on 9 January 2013, was amazing good. 👌👌

7) A Яussian Яeally ANGЯY at cafeteria's "tacky" use of backwards Яs; and making @CIA food "palatable" to Americans

8) #NeverForget the 2012 #JazzSalad mislabeling fiasco. It really took the cake. SaladBar != JazzSalad #GrapeGate.

9) MOAR @CIA cafeteria #FOIA docs - again obtained by @MuckRuck. Big thanks guys! Docs here: assets.documentcloud.org/documents/2895…

10) Everyone at @CIA agrees that ■■■■■ is wonderful! Excellent customer service. 10/10. Would highly recommend.

11) 🐔🐔 3 tiny pieces of @CIA chicken for $5? How can I keep up protien levels like that? Had to buy more food! 🐔🐔

12) The person behind the mexican counter was rude and I assume upset. I will not be going back to the cafe again.🇲🇽

13) I'll #NeverForget the fateful encounter with the non-fully-thawed bagels. The slicer crushed their frozen cores.

14) 🚨🚨Incoming opinion🚨🚨: Turkey Italian Wedding Soup was not good. Too salty. Tasted like Turkey noodle. Sad!

15)
Date: Tuesday, 9 Sept 2014.
Dish: Lamb ravioli.
Expectation: luscious
Result: dry. flavorless. unacceptable.

16) @CIA staffer demands that they employ more staff to ensure empty coffee pots are filled; filed at 8:36AM. ☕☕

17) @CIA's TS/SCI + Polygraph staffers in world's most secure SCIF asked to open containers to prevent food thefts

18) ◼️◼️◼️◼️ regularly lets the checkout line build up wrapping cookies. 0/10. Inhospitable. Would not recommend.

19) The coffee configuration is one big epic fail though. Also had to walk all the way around the cafeteria for skim

20) I came down to lunch today to only to find that unsweetened tea is GONE! 😭😭😭
...
😠 EXPLAIN YOUR CHANGES TO ME 😠

21) Dearest fellow staffers, whose renovations have recently concluded to my satisfaction. Attached, my corrections:

22)
a) 🔺☕ Please put the coffee area green mountain back ☕🔺

23)
b) Also, please make this series of geometric alterations to the general configuration of the Taco toppings area

24) @CIA's ◼️◼️◼️◼️ absolutely loved the Mediterranean Fattoush Salad, just FYI.
🕵🥗💚 👌

25) How can you POSSIBLY charge $0.50 per slice of @CIA bacon!? Яidiculous! A running joke in my office.
🕵🐖💵🥓

26) Tbf, that is pretty gross.

27) Taco bar has gone downhill. Sour cream out of reach; Cheap guacamole. Upgrades were like lipstick on a pig. Sad!

28)
@CIA Field Trial Day 5
"Mediterranean Fattoush Salad" appears to be abnormally addictive.
Further study required

29) Dear SODEXO.
I have an amazing idea. Have you considered giving us all discounts?
You're welcome.

30) Shoutout for ◼️◼️◼️◼️ at @CIA who's a wonderful person - can now vary salad bar (but tbf it ain't no #JazzSalad)

31) Why would they build a building this big and have a cafeteria this small? I think you have a major problem here

32) FYI, I bought a broth Friday, and it was too salty. Such a waste. $7 and I couldn't eat it. So sad! 😢😢😢

33) Pretty sure you can't buy chicken at FedEx; Also this @CIA employee 😭😭 at being $0.01 short of a rewards stamp

34)
Dear food service.
We should have a fruit stand! ... Hopefully other CIA officers share my enthusiasm for fruit

35) This @CIA officer recognizes that demanding Dunkin Donuts to re-calibrate dispensers is a "first-world problem"

36) The following complaints have been observed:
[minor things]
"Can't wait to see how they can drop the ball next"

37) /Yet another/ tragic and unacceptable lunch encounter in the @CIA cafeteria on November 04 2014 #NeverForget

38) @CIA officers devastated at the downgrade of waffle makers to frozen eggo waffles and toaster pancakes.

39) "Not to be dramatic, DD hash browns are the crowning glory of a DD breakfast!" #Brown 👑🍟☕🍟

40) [unironically] How DARE @CIA stealthily institute these changes!

41) Dear @CIA:
What is the policy around CAFETERIA workers being allowed to eat? Can you clarify?

42) @CIA officer: "PLEASE KEEP MY NAME ANONYMOUS!". Joke's on you @CIA staffer. Now we all know your name is ⬜

44) #CIABaconGate continues

45)
I returned chicken w/ feathers on.
Cafeteria lady: "Hahaha! Don't all chickens have feathers?"
#NotSureIfJoking

26) @CIA staffer surprisingly livid over discovering his bad quality Grande went from $2.01 to $2.07 a long time ago

57) ISIL has to wait - solving #CIABaconGate is important.
Subject: Bacon Accounting
"I don't eat bacon, but..."

58) I had an odd/suspicious encounter this morning (Asian Woman).
She has a TS/SCI+Poly, but maybe pocketed my $2.33

59) Please prevent @CIA shop staff from going home at 5PM, because I like to buy things from @CIA shops after 4:45PM

60) Today I had to wait in line for TWO 🕐 FREAKING 🕐 MINUTES 😠😠😠

61) Amusingly specific: More cheese pizzas please during Fridays in Lent.
✝🙏 🍕 🙏✝

62) @CIA cafeteria whistle-blowing complaint ends up with weird and awkward encounter

63) "The salad bars aren't very exciting for the price one pays".
It's like she hasn't even heard of #JazzSalad 🎺🍂💃

64) "She terrorizes the staff" - staffer at the one org in the world where allegations of terrorizing end esp badly.

65) I do not even feel comfortable going into the burrito bar any longer
🕵😭🌯🌮

66) $8.33 @CIA salad bar; with gross dead fly in it.
Shoulda bought a #JazzSalad silly.

67) Not all of @CIA staffers become filled with rage over first-world cafeteria problems. Some positive feedback too

68) ::Hummos::
Who made the hummos today?
Don't EVER let them make it again.
It didn't taste anything like hummos

69) @CIA officer in show of honesty, initially upset at being undercharged; then charged twice. Now wants money back

70)
Dear @CIA
Would you consider giving me a discount on all of my coffee?
Thanks for your consideration!

71) "Catholics In Action" officers upset that Friday canteen doesn't serve fish. Complaint sent in Aug26 (not Lent)

That's end of the @MuckRock #FOIA.
If #CIABaconGate needs analytic support from the rest of the IC, expect @NSAGov no doubt happy to help

Just remember: Salad bar is disappointing, contains dead flies and devoid of grapes. Avoid disappointment by always choosing #JazzSalad 🇺🇸🌿🎺