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i have an a 1 million dollar idea that will pull your failing company directly out of the toilet. hear me out.
all right. so first off we know that the hamburglar has become soft in recent years. the customers no longer fear him
and it is necessary, I believe, to threaten your customers with some sort of villain, to increase the perceived valueof your food
but how do you shake the core of a public fresh off the heel's of the 9/11 atrocities. what is it that they fear the most
they fear Chaos. they fear those who dont simply loot and plunder as the hamburglar does, but those who seek to Destroy.
and so me & the boys have invented "the mcshitter". a fictional man who jumps up on tables and shits all over the customers meals
i know its fucked up. but "shit" is one of the last few apolitical threats. 99% of ppl on both sides of the spectrum dont like it
this is money in the bank. put the mcshitter in all of your branding, and enjoy a tenfold increase in likes and re-tweets
your current slogan, "Im Lovin It", will no longer do. i would suggest replacing it with "Look out. Here comes the McShitter"
it will go without saying that hes an ugly son of a bitch. goblin-like. someone you;d particularly not want shitting on your food
i would suggest studying caricatures from early 1900s racist war propaganda to help your team devise his gruesome appearance
thats it. thank you for hearing me out. i am a huge fan of the"big mac" and im nice once you get to know me
